LupNet broadcast, backdated 7/23

[hellawrath]

[Some of you may have noticed that, barring a brief appearance during Storytelling, Lup hasn't been seen or heard from anywhere in the past week? Well, good news! She's on the iStone network now!

Sounding uhh, incredibly furious, voice rising in pitch and volume the longer she goes on. It's possible she may have done something dumb, passed out for five days, and awoke to her camp turned even more of a gay disaster than it usually is. It's fine, she just Needs To Yell here for a bit.

Unfortunately, somebody forgot to hide her Stone.]

YO ENSO, any other fools around here looking to report their recent fuck-ups?? Any like, japeries, shenanigans, ill-advised adventures or stupid-ass experiments in the last, I guess five days, that you wanna fess up to? Anybody tried fucking licking the goddamn robots yet? Where we at, folks?

And hey, if anyone you know can't get their head outta their ass either, let me know! I gots callouts for days!

[A brief pause, and then notably gentler:]

Not you Ren, you're amazing, sweetie.

Comments

[solperierat]

...do I wanna know what happened to you?

[hellawrath]

Oh, nothing much! [The amount of artificial sweetness in her voice would put diet coke to shame.] Also? Not the fucking point, homie! What've you been getting your furry ass into these days?

[solperierat]

Uh-huh. [Yeah, that Splenda ain't gonna scare him any.] And I dunno, rooting around at robots and making a couple chemistry sets? Been trying to figure out how in hell making a forge works so we can do something with all this magic metal shit we've been salvaging.

not here!!!

[catpiper]

[Somewhere, probably three feet away from Lup, she hears this message and feels like she is amazing. Her arms go up and everything. Thanks, Auntie. Have fun calling out everyone!! Yell at them for being brave!!]

yells!!

[hellawrath]

[WOW. Wow. Thanks!! She will!! This is why Ren is the best gremlin that there is.]

[ohshitsweetflips]

Listen, Lup, you know I love a good yell sesh as much as anyone-- probably more! I probably invented it! But have you considered this is just post-nap crankiness proportionate to a really big nap and we didn't do anything wrong? You want like some fruit or something? You know, you've always been kinda an-- you wake up angry, maybe have a snack and then forget about it, maybe don't put an entire island on blast? You know how it is.

[hellawrath]

[Oh she thinks the fuck not. Lup may start out in that sickly sweet voice, like, let's gather 'round kids and be open and respectful with each other--]

Hey, hey Taako? How about you don't-- [--and that's about as long as that tone lasts.] I woke up fresher than a cat's asshole, Taako! That was the longest rest I've had since getting my body back, that was-- I was feeling fucking great! Until I had to hear about my dumbass brother and his idiot boyfriend's goddamn jackassery while I wasn't-- during my nap! Y'know, if you're that eager to get dunked on, I can get that for you!

[ohshitsweetflips]

I don't see what the big deal is! It was a good plan, not even sure what you're complaining about here. This is pretty much all on me anyway, it was my idea! And you can't blame Krav for doing his job! He caught a necromancer, it's what he does. Homeboy's a criminal! This is community service!

That is what you're yelling about, right? If not pretend I didn't say anything. Actually can I start over? I want a lawyer.

[postictal]

[JESUS. WHY IS THERE SHOUTING. WHO'S SHOUTING.]

- fuck. What happened to you?

[hellawrath]

[You wanted more shouting, you said?]

I had myself a dope ass lil nap and woke up to an entire camp full of-- fucking, irresponsible little SHITS is what happened! So how about you just tell me what bullshit you let your kids get into, Timbo, so I don't gotta come over there and check?

[Underneath all the righteous fury is, perhaps, a hint of real shakenness at having missed an entire week.]

[postictal]

[Where does he even start.]

Timbo?

[That's an easier point to address than your kids. As if - come on, he's - the cover story. He's the convenience. He's just someone they need to get by, to deflect inquiries, and the more he dwells on it, the less sense those excuses are starting to make.]

We found flowers, and we found dead robots. [So, you know, the fucking usual.] Why'd you have a...nap, anyway?

[yourattention]

I resent the implication here that I haven't already licked a robot. [He hasn't.] You wanna hear something fucked up, though? The robots caught feelings and died!

[hellawrath]

[Finally, somebody who's at least straightforward about being a little shit and/or an idiot.] Shit, that's exactly the kind of terrible news I was hoping to hear, thanks my dude! [She wasn't.] To what do we owe that particular bummer?

[yourattention]

So I dove into the water and found a fake iPad that saaaaaaid. [There's some sounds of pages being flipped.] "I will not be inputting an arbitrary set of untested morality systems into our prototype guardian units and you can choke on a root for thinking this is easy.", then a bunch of PA bullshit, and "They have their whole lives to fix my work, assuming it ever reaches them."

[tuskenlancer]

[ ummmmmmmmmmm. ]

...Are you okay?

[hellawrath]

Fucking fantastic! [She does not sound fucking fantastic. She sounds like maybe she got some stressful news and is projecting, a bit.] Anybody you know fuck up recently or what?

[tuskenlancer]

[ That sounds fake but okay. ]

Not any more than usual. [ Wash can be a disaster sometimes, but that's normal. ] Who's licking the robots?

late tag-in whoops

[bitch4bitch]

[There's probably a lot to be worried about here, but frankly? Erika would probably be more concerned with that if she weren't still fucking pissed about Foster's whole existence.]

Well, the dumbshit with a horse butt - you might've seen him around, I dunno - has been making everything weird for everyone and freaking people the fuck out, not to mention stomping on robots because I guess dismantling machinery carefully isn't a thing he's heard of, so that's fuckin' fun!

[Not that Erika is known for being careful, but, listen.]

it's never too late for foster shaming

[hellawrath]

He's been doing what?! Might as well yeet the fucking things into the ocean if he's gonna ruin the one resource we get for everybody! [And no, she hasn't seen any dumbshits with-- wait.]

Hold the fuckin-- a horse butt??

[bitch4bitch]

Right? Like, the fuck did he think that was accomplishing, or did he just wanna wreck something? I couldn't even fuckin' say!

Yeah. Like-- his whole ass and legs are a horse, it's fucked up. It's not even the worse fucking part, but it's definitely the hardest to miss!

[deathfindsaway]

[Catch him like ten feet away pretending to mind his own damn business until she's done, and--]

I told you pretty explicitly not to. I'm just saying.

[hellawrath]

[Oh it takes guts to actually face her, unlike some people who seem to have Blinked into the ocean. Guts that she's about to pull out through his nose, if her glare is any indication.]

You. You haven't got shit to say to me right now, Mister Law and fuckin Order! You gonna pull your bullshit death cop card on every fucker who's scared and useful to you, or just this one?

[deathfindsaway]

[guesshelldie.jpg]

I explicitly put together safeguards for Taako to pull him out that you plainly refused. Also, you saw it affected him. We didn't even need it for anything.

[cacoethes_mori]

[It'll be a lucky thing if Lup understands this horrible man's horrible combination of accents--New Englander meets AAVE meets Afrikaner straight from South Africa. The last one is thanks to his mom.]

Me! I'm wrong. I'm always wrong! I'm a disgusting, nasty, repulsive--a worthless mistake of Creation, a vile, steaming heap of irredeemable garbage! Use me--use me, use me, use me, it's my purpose, my design...!

[Has anyone ever sounded so passionately self-loathing or so incredibly excited to hate themself in the history of sentient life?

Well. Probably not very often.]

[hellawrath]

[Lup only wishes she was lucky enough not to understand this. But having been around the linguistic block a couple times, she probably gets most of it.

Not that that explains what the fuck.]

Okay well you weren't supposed to agree, dipshit! Now you've ruined it, so, good job I guess, on that one! Also, what the fuck! This isn't 1-800-KINKSHAME, I don't-- do you need a towel or something? Gross!