LupNet broadcast, backdated 7/23

[hellawrath]

[Some of you may have noticed that, barring a brief appearance during Storytelling, Lup hasn't been seen or heard from anywhere in the past week? Well, good news! She's on the iStone network now!

Sounding uhh, incredibly furious, voice rising in pitch and volume the longer she goes on. It's possible she may have done something dumb, passed out for five days, and awoke to her camp turned even more of a gay disaster than it usually is. It's fine, she just Needs To Yell here for a bit.

Unfortunately, somebody forgot to hide her Stone.]

YO ENSO, any other fools around here looking to report their recent fuck-ups?? Any like, japeries, shenanigans, ill-advised adventures or stupid-ass experiments in the last, I guess five days, that you wanna fess up to? Anybody tried fucking licking the goddamn robots yet? Where we at, folks?

And hey, if anyone you know can't get their head outta their ass either, let me know! I gots callouts for days!

[A brief pause, and then notably gentler:]

Not you Ren, you're amazing, sweetie.

Comments

nsfw, and also just ew?

[cacoethes_mori]

Yes! Yes! Gross--! This is what you wanted--! A deserving target to take it out on!

If this were a sex thing, I'd need a lot more than a towel.

A bucket, perhaps.

[In attempting to be reassuring by way of dismissal, Foster just makes it forty times worse.]

still both and also forever

[hellawrath]

Why would-- Oh! God! Now I'm thinking about it! [This is worse than like a good two thirds of her deaths. How could this happen to her.]

I bet your cock's not even all that, dudes always flattering themselves, fuck off. Hey, guess what! If it's not a sex thing, it's some kinda ego thing for sure, so it's baaasically still about your dick? Fuckin yawn!

Eternal warning, I cannot BELIEVE I just wrote this

[cacoethes_mori]

I don't know how big a horse's cock is supposed to be, but mine is also literally a mushroom, so I don't think it's much of anything unless you're hungry.

this is terrible and you should feel terrible

[hellawrath]

A horse-- a mushroom?! The fuck is-- [There's so much to unpack here and she doesn't even wanna touch it to yeet it straight into the ocean, balls to just all of that.] You sound like a fantasy Hieronymus Bosch painting! The dick that god forgot! Are you just-- am I talking to the fucking Fustercluck right now, is that what's happening?!

[cacoethes_mori]

[The bad news is that Foster knows who Hieronymus Bosch is. The worse news is he doesn't know what a Fustercluck is.

The worst news is that he doesn't need to know either of those things to get what she's saying.]

Yes! Yes!

That which god forgot. Abomination, aberrant, abhorrent!

['God' has lost a lot of meaning in terms of his reality, what with the multiverse and Creation and all, but the symbology is still unmatched.

Anyway yeah the Fustercluck is only barely worse than this.]