LupNet broadcast, backdated 7/23

[hellawrath]

[Some of you may have noticed that, barring a brief appearance during Storytelling, Lup hasn't been seen or heard from anywhere in the past week? Well, good news! She's on the iStone network now!

Sounding uhh, incredibly furious, voice rising in pitch and volume the longer she goes on. It's possible she may have done something dumb, passed out for five days, and awoke to her camp turned even more of a gay disaster than it usually is. It's fine, she just Needs To Yell here for a bit.

Unfortunately, somebody forgot to hide her Stone.]

YO ENSO, any other fools around here looking to report their recent fuck-ups?? Any like, japeries, shenanigans, ill-advised adventures or stupid-ass experiments in the last, I guess five days, that you wanna fess up to? Anybody tried fucking licking the goddamn robots yet? Where we at, folks?

And hey, if anyone you know can't get their head outta their ass either, let me know! I gots callouts for days!

[A brief pause, and then notably gentler:]

Not you Ren, you're amazing, sweetie.

Comments

[yourattention]

I resent the implication here that I haven't already licked a robot. [He hasn't.] You wanna hear something fucked up, though? The robots caught feelings and died!

[hellawrath]

[Finally, somebody who's at least straightforward about being a little shit and/or an idiot.] Shit, that's exactly the kind of terrible news I was hoping to hear, thanks my dude! [She wasn't.] To what do we owe that particular bummer?

[yourattention]

So I dove into the water and found a fake iPad that saaaaaaid. [There's some sounds of pages being flipped.] "I will not be inputting an arbitrary set of untested morality systems into our prototype guardian units and you can choke on a root for thinking this is easy.", then a bunch of PA bullshit, and "They have their whole lives to fix my work, assuming it ever reaches them."

[hellawrath]

... What the fuck. [Hey at least that seems to have slowed her rage roll a bit, good job.]. That sure is one salty customer but I guess that's allowed when you're dying. So you think the robots were fine until somebody implemented those changes anyway and they caught the flowers? I mean, that's kind of a stretch? They weren't prototypes if they were functioning for what sure sounds like centuries.

[yourattention]

There's also, like, code? I dunno if it was the code this guy wrote or what but it looks like what they wanted to do was if, like. Someone was injured or trying to injure themselves? The robots would stop it? But this, uh. Probably made them susceptible to the flower disease.

[Jury's out on whether that's a good thing or a bad thing, probably.]

[hellawrath]

What, so like, learning empathy got the robots sick? [That's some kind of hypothesis for sure, but--] I guess something must have changed to fuck them up, I mean-- they don't look like they stopped because they just weren't being used anymore, and anyway the ore continuously generates power on its own. They shouldn't have been able to kick it in the middle of doing their jobs? But I guess an update on all of them would do it. Poor fuckers. [Both the robots and the last people who, fuck, probably died when their caretakers broke down. She exhales roughly through her teeth.]

Listen, I'm gonna come by to check out the code. Not that robotics is in the ol' arcane wheelhouse, but-- [It's almost like not completely terrifying a literal robotics nerd would come in handy now, Taako and Kravitz. She's gonna have to play good cop somehow before they can expect help from that corner.] To be honest I could use the walk.

[yourattention]

I don't actually know of any diseases that can be transferred by emotions, but like. I also don't know of any human diseases a robot can catch so your guess is as good as mine. Better, probably, since you're the fucking magic expert. Anyway, I'm - [There's an awkward pause.] Oh, right.

[Funny story: very faintly, in the background, you can hear the sound of water. He's not actually on land, he fucked off to the open ocean because sometimes he just does that? Sometimes he just sails out to the middle of nowhere and takes a nap.]

When you say "walk," you better mean literally and physically walking because it's going to take me half an hour to get home.

[hellawrath]

My expert opinion is that I've probably seen weirder than robots catching feelings and dying. [Snort. So helpful.] Could be like, a curse, but those tend to be linked to specific items.

Well I wasn't gonna levitate to Casa de Deathtrap so uh, yeah. Where are you at?

[yourattention]

I meant more like "if you take a mana pool, I'm kind of out in the open ocean so you're just gonna be waiting outside my house for thirty minutes."

[Well. She could probably wait in his house and he wouldn't be that upset about it, but either way there's waiting involved. As it is, there's the sound of a motor being started. It's fine.]

[hellawrath]

[Oh shit that's right, he's got a whole boat dealie. That gets a chuckle out of her.]

Oh we're so gonna have ourselves a weed n booze cruise next time this fuckshit island is ruining my day. See you there, buddy.