lifenet | LupNet broadcast, backdated 7/23

[Some of you may have noticed that, barring a brief appearance during Storytelling, Lup hasn't been seen or heard from anywhere in the past week? Well, good news! She's on the iStone network now!

Sounding uhh, incredibly furious, voice rising in pitch and volume the longer she goes on. It's possible she may have done something dumb, passed out for five days, and awoke to her camp turned even more of a gay disaster than it usually is. It's fine, she just Needs To Yell here for a bit.

Unfortunately, somebody forgot to hide her Stone.]

YO ENSO, any other fools around here looking to report their recent fuck-ups?? Any like, japeries, shenanigans, ill-advised adventures or stupid-ass experiments in the last, I guess five days, that you wanna fess up to? Anybody tried fucking licking the goddamn robots yet? Where we at, folks?

And hey, if anyone you know can't get their head outta their ass either, let me know! I gots callouts for days!

[A brief pause, and then notably gentler:]

Not you Ren, you're amazing, sweetie.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[JESUS. WHY IS THERE SHOUTING. WHO'S SHOUTING.]

- fuck. What happened to you?

[You wanted more shouting, you said?]

I had myself a dope ass lil nap and woke up to an entire camp full of-- fucking, irresponsible little SHITS is what happened! So how about you just tell me what bullshit you let your kids get into, Timbo, so I don't gotta come over there and check?

[Underneath all the righteous fury is, perhaps, a hint of real shakenness at having missed an entire week.]

[Where does he even start.]

Timbo?

[That's an easier point to address than your kids. As if - come on, he's - the cover story. He's the convenience. He's just someone they need to get by, to deflect inquiries, and the more he dwells on it, the less sense those excuses are starting to make.]

We found flowers, and we found dead robots. [So, you know, the fucking usual.] Why'd you have a...nap, anyway?

You heard me!

[Listen, nobody's been inquiring into those kids' entire situations for months? Everybody who's ever exchanged more than three words with them knows they don't need an adult to survive. Get with the adopted family times.]

Cuz the ore is fuckin elf racist or something! I tried to transmute some, y'know, like we do, and next thing I know I wake up five days later to half the camp keeping a nerd in a pit trap! [Not technically how it happened, but closer than you might think.]

So, anybody do any dumb shit to the dead robots or the flowers?

Maybe because it's not normal ore. There's...some of the old records and stuff call it something weird. Floriocite, I think.

[But that explains quite a bit. She must've...ingested some? Something like that. Either way, the metal didn't react very well to being transmuted.]

Not that I know. Who's in a pit trap?

Oh shit, that clears everything up! Of course I shouldn't have tried doing science to something that's called Floriocite! Fucking-- what a basic fucking goof I made! [It could be called Screwyouicite and somebody would've still had to try and learn more about it, what's your fucking point.] It's not like an ore that generates its own power would be a fantastic fucking resource to be able to shape or anything!

[Anyway the pit trap incident is another dumb thing she's probably gonna have to fix and she makes a frustrated noise.]

The dude who owns the hellevator! I thought for sure somebody had filled those in already, ugh.

I didn't even know that someone owned that thing.

[He's going to skip over the part where she verbally excoriates him for not being on the up and up, thanks. That's the nice thing about tense conversations; he can simply ignore the parts he doesn't feel like addressing, if he so chooses. And he does, indeed, so choose.]

[And the nice thing about Lup is that she gets hella mad hella quickly, but she doesn't have the patience for real grudges. Just give her something else to impulsively fixate on.]

Well it didn't fucking like, get birthed by a mother elevator, if that's what you were thinking? He's-- he's one of ours, both the nerd and the nemesis of all stairkind. Cuz that's the kind of bullshit my bro mixes in with when I'm-- indisposed.

[TIM HAS MET THIS MAN. He has met this man and has no idea 8) ]

I didn't think they were here. You telling me it came through with him or something?

[And chances are he'll keep having no idea cuz Lup's too mad to bother remembering the fool's name.]

Shit it sure did! Kravitz said he'd run into him, same time as that thing went on a fucking rampage. He invented it, or-- or his dad, or something? [Listen, she was in an umbrella at the time, it was kind of hard to care about the little details.] Lil dipshit's like a genius inventor? Mostly robots with a heaping side of necromancy. Hence why these fucking assholes went n kidnapped him.

Robots.

[That is the one word Tim has decided is important in all this.]

You think he might be able to help with figuring out how these robots work? [Yeah, sorry, he's not gonna waste time being indignant or angry when there's apparently some dude hanging around who might be able to crack this mystery wide open.]

Hoooly fucking shit.

[Lup sounds beyond exasperated. Tim, please. Is INT just his dump stat, is that what this is? She likes him, really, but he's killing her right now.]

That's literally why-- I mean, yeah! They're probably gonna be dancing the macarena when he's done with 'em! Does that make it okay to kidnap the dude, d'you think? Am I the only one who's-- who's maybe, a little bummed about that?!

I thought you guys kidnapped him because he was a problem.

[He doesn't have the whole narrative here, Lup, cut him some slack. Or don't. Whichever.]

Do you think he will be a problem?

He's-- I mean he's kind of a shady little shit, he like, kidnapped a bunch of souls out of the Astral Plane, lied to pretty much everybody about uh, pretty much everything? Nearly got the whole world turned into crystal. [Yeah, exactly like the caves.]

But he's also kind of a wet blanket? And did it all to get his dead mom back, so like. [Cool motive, still morally objectionable. But she doesn't sound particularly wary of him.] I doubt he can do much damage around here? Just be on your toes around him, I guess.

I think everyone here would be plenty happy if we never saw another crystal again.

[He doesn't need that reminder, thanks. He doubts anyone else does either.]

That sounds like some heavy...magic, I guess. He's gonna be limited here, right?

LupNet broadcast, backdated 7/23

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