iStone PSA, Night of May 1st (NOW WITH MORE LUP)

[ohshitsweetflips]

[A very ceremonious and entirely fake throat-clearing issues from every last Stone of Farspeech, the night of May 1st. Including Ren's, but (fortunately?) her Stone has been skillfully taken into custody by some elves. Don't worry, she gets it back in the end, she won't even miss it.]

Heeeey, so tomorrow is Ren's birthday, as I'm sure everybody knows.

[An airy, overly affable lead-in. Kinda makes the rest of the message, which is more business-like, a little jarring.]

Well, we're calling dibs. We're gonna do a whole thing, like a surprise thing? We're gonna send her out to do bullshit errands or whatever, so we can get stuff set up. But! Nobody can tell her happy birthday before like, noon, or she'll spook and probably hide in the jungle forever.

[One quick afterthought--]

And me or Lup will personally set you on fire or turn you into a molerat. But after that, go bananas.

[Followed by a brief scuffle, and then the Lup's unmistakable voice speaking unCOMFortably close and intense into the stone--]

Don't mess this up for us OR Ren, Enso. We know where you live. PEACE OUT.

Comments

[yourattention]

Uhhhhhh. Don't - don't send her to the islets. I kind of put her birthday present on everybody's houses.

[ohshitsweetflips]

NICE, Ren loves vandalism. Yeah, I'll hold off on the islets then.

Is that your only present?

[yourattention]

Uh, yeah? I designed and painted [ok Chara and Tim (and probably Frisk) helped but] like twenty cats and I graffitied that blind guy's asshole boyfriend's house even though he could hadouken my ass.

[SHE'S NOT EVEN ACTUALLY HIS FRIEND??? He only did this because it was important to Tim.]

That's already, like. Way more effort that anything else I've ever done for someone else in my entire life.

[ohshitsweetflips]

[Well, that's kinda not unrelatable, Taako can appreciate the high cost of altruism. As long as it's like twenty cats, it's probably fine.]

I guess. What about just one more cat? Like a blank cat, for coloring.

[yourattention]

I got a page full of pen sketches of cats.

[That's the same thing, right?]

[ohshitsweetflips]

[Well it won't be color your own vandalism on a building-size scale, but it's not nothing, either.]

Yeah, that sounds like it'd be a hit. Though ideally you could add some mongooses for flair.

istone

[postictal]

Where are you setting it up?

[In case you need, like...help....maybe????]

[ohshitsweetflips]

We're gonna do the ceremonial lunch at Camp BASE.

[Because that is a helpful distinction and also a real part of a birthday.]

No need to help with that, we got plenty of hands on deck. After that we're taking her on tour, and that's where you come in.

[postictal]

[Oh thank god. He's not...really much for the "planning birthdays" department. He's never really planned or celebrated one before, and if he has, he can only barely remember it. (Days before white-walled rooms, or the days after, memories hollowed out so utterly that they may as well belong to another person.)]

[The relief probably shines through in his tone.]

...good. Good.

And, uh - Kidwun is still...there, right? [He's trying to ensure the specter of concern, of worry, doesn't seed the words in any easily discernible sense, and probably failing.]

[ohshitsweetflips]

[Oh good, now Taako feels even less bad for excluding Tim from the party endeavor. He wasn't feeling a particularly large amount of bad about it to begin with.]

...Can't say they've really, uh, integrated, but yeah. That's going about as well as it can, I think.

[postictal]

[It'd be stupid to ask if they're really...if they're okay. Not when they all know that they aren't.]

Maybe this'll help 'em...take their mind off stuff.

[buryyourfriends]

I can do stuff, if you need me. I want to help with this.

[Seto's gonna make sure this is the best birthday for Ren - ignoring the fact that it's her first one. Still gonna be the best.]

[ohshitsweetflips]

Sure, you can help, you can uh--

[What is there even for Seto to do?]

You any good at wrapping stuff?

[This feels like a long shot...]

[buryyourfriends]

I can do it!

[The actual answer is no, he doesn't know how. Will that stop him? Fuck no.]

[ohshitsweetflips]

Cool, great, glad we got that covered. Was there a lot of call for present-wrapping on your homeworld?

[X Doubt]

[buryyourfriends]

[Taako don't call him out on this.]

My Grandpa had me use some...plastic wrap and wrap a cap on up when it wasn't raining a lot.

[That totally counts right?]

[solperierat]

[Who knew you could get microphone static out of a fucking rock? Ed sure didn't.]

There any place we should stockpile the presents at?

[ohshitsweetflips]

I dunno, we're gonna do like, a Grand Tour thing, we're not gonna bogart Ren all day. Like Lup said, we know where you live.

[Know, and at least in Taako and Ren's case, have probably also broken in for fun.]

Maybe like, the beach? 'S really your call, homie.

[solperierat]

Oh, 's that the plan? I'll keep her stuff at the hut, then.

[Ed has just accepted that the goblin child is going to be in places she shouldn't at this point. Taako he'll still shout at, though.]

You got a path you're planning on following for this, or just where her whims take you all?

[ohshitsweetflips]

[By all means, shout away. Someone has to.]

Yeah, that, the whim thing. Feel like that's the most...in the birthday spirit.

[This is a lot of strategy for a birthday.]

It's just gonna be hard to hit all the highlights, you know?

[Which is to say, again, he stole the best orphan on the island and Ren's a star.]

[proficienciesouttheass]

Want me to rogue around and keep an eye on her so people don't ruin it?

[ Do you trust the lvl 2, hulking man of a rogue to be subtle and sneaky around a young girl?]

[ohshitsweetflips]

Holy shit yes, do it.

[The thrill, the drama of it all. The chance that Magnus will just FLATTEN some fool like a good-natured but exuberant meteor. It's Ren's birthday, and yet Taako has been given this gift.]

This is the day you've been training for.

[proficienciesouttheass]

[ The ruffboi method! Surprise crushing. It's a very effective technique.

He flexes.]

Fuck yeah. Where is she?

[ohshitsweetflips]

[Please let Magnus crush some loser for a birthday transgression. Taako is just so thrilled to let this possibility of chaos loose in the world.]

Camp is probably safe, we can all mind our shit, but if she takes off, it's go time. Tomorrow, too. Ren's an escape artist, you gotta stay two steps ahead.

[He sounds so proud.]

[proficienciesouttheass]

[ They really should have cameras. Film this endeavor for Faerun's funniest videos. ]

Got it. Nobody's going to say a thing about the party.

[ Oh, this is going to ruin someone's day. ]