iStone PSA, Night of May 1st (NOW WITH MORE LUP)

[ohshitsweetflips]

[A very ceremonious and entirely fake throat-clearing issues from every last Stone of Farspeech, the night of May 1st. Including Ren's, but (fortunately?) her Stone has been skillfully taken into custody by some elves. Don't worry, she gets it back in the end, she won't even miss it.]

Heeeey, so tomorrow is Ren's birthday, as I'm sure everybody knows.

[An airy, overly affable lead-in. Kinda makes the rest of the message, which is more business-like, a little jarring.]

Well, we're calling dibs. We're gonna do a whole thing, like a surprise thing? We're gonna send her out to do bullshit errands or whatever, so we can get stuff set up. But! Nobody can tell her happy birthday before like, noon, or she'll spook and probably hide in the jungle forever.

[One quick afterthought--]

And me or Lup will personally set you on fire or turn you into a molerat. But after that, go bananas.

[Followed by a brief scuffle, and then the Lup's unmistakable voice speaking unCOMFortably close and intense into the stone--]

Don't mess this up for us OR Ren, Enso. We know where you live. PEACE OUT.

Comments

[yourattention]

Uhhhhhh. Don't - don't send her to the islets. I kind of put her birthday present on everybody's houses.

istone

[postictal]

Where are you setting it up?

[In case you need, like...help....maybe????]

[buryyourfriends]

I can do stuff, if you need me. I want to help with this.

[Seto's gonna make sure this is the best birthday for Ren - ignoring the fact that it's her first one. Still gonna be the best.]

[ohshitsweetflips]

NICE, Ren loves vandalism. Yeah, I'll hold off on the islets then.

Is that your only present?

[ohshitsweetflips]

We're gonna do the ceremonial lunch at Camp BASE.

[Because that is a helpful distinction and also a real part of a birthday.]

No need to help with that, we got plenty of hands on deck. After that we're taking her on tour, and that's where you come in.

[ohshitsweetflips]

Sure, you can help, you can uh--

[What is there even for Seto to do?]

You any good at wrapping stuff?

[This feels like a long shot...]

[postictal]

[Oh thank god. He's not...really much for the "planning birthdays" department. He's never really planned or celebrated one before, and if he has, he can only barely remember it. (Days before white-walled rooms, or the days after, memories hollowed out so utterly that they may as well belong to another person.)]

[The relief probably shines through in his tone.]

...good. Good.

And, uh - Kidwun is still...there, right? [He's trying to ensure the specter of concern, of worry, doesn't seed the words in any easily discernible sense, and probably failing.]

[buryyourfriends]

I can do it!

[The actual answer is no, he doesn't know how. Will that stop him? Fuck no.]

[ohshitsweetflips]

[Oh good, now Taako feels even less bad for excluding Tim from the party endeavor. He wasn't feeling a particularly large amount of bad about it to begin with.]

...Can't say they've really, uh, integrated, but yeah. That's going about as well as it can, I think.

[ohshitsweetflips]

Cool, great, glad we got that covered. Was there a lot of call for present-wrapping on your homeworld?

[X Doubt]

[postictal]

[It'd be stupid to ask if they're really...if they're okay. Not when they all know that they aren't.]

Maybe this'll help 'em...take their mind off stuff.

[ohshitsweetflips]

Yeah, this place is a fuckin' zoo even without the birthdays, maybe that's therapeutic instead of awful, for where they're at. Kinda surprised they stuck it out this long, to be honest.

[buryyourfriends]

[Taako don't call him out on this.]

My Grandpa had me use some...plastic wrap and wrap a cap on up when it wasn't raining a lot.

[That totally counts right?]

[postictal]

...in what way?

[Like, staying with him? Or just sticking to life, in general?]

[yourattention]

Uh, yeah? I designed and painted [ok Chara and Tim (and probably Frisk) helped but] like twenty cats and I graffitied that blind guy's asshole boyfriend's house even though he could hadouken my ass.

[SHE'S NOT EVEN ACTUALLY HIS FRIEND??? He only did this because it was important to Tim.]

That's already, like. Way more effort that anything else I've ever done for someone else in my entire life.

[ohshitsweetflips]

[Well, that's kinda not unrelatable, Taako can appreciate the high cost of altruism. As long as it's like twenty cats, it's probably fine.]

I guess. What about just one more cat? Like a blank cat, for coloring.

[solperierat]

[Who knew you could get microphone static out of a fucking rock? Ed sure didn't.]

There any place we should stockpile the presents at?

[yourattention]

I got a page full of pen sketches of cats.

[That's the same thing, right?]

[ohshitsweetflips]

[Well it won't be color your own vandalism on a building-size scale, but it's not nothing, either.]

Yeah, that sounds like it'd be a hit. Though ideally you could add some mongooses for flair.

[ohshitsweetflips]

[Taako shrugs audibly.]

I'unno, I just figured Camp BASE lyfe would be too much for 'em?

[The unnecessary 'y' is also audible.]

It's almost too much for me. Though they don't really contribute to that very much, they're only a little more noticeable than the lobster, usually. Kinda spooky.

...They did kind of unsettle literal Death, though. Which was a little unnecessary, he's got enough on his plate.

[ohshitsweetflips]

Well I guess that's fine.

[He doesn't sound entirely convinced. But he's ready to be surprised.]

I mean, there'll be something you can do either way, no free rides at Camp BASE. If the wrapping doesn't work out we can always put you on, uh, decor.

...Can you like, write?

[postictal]

You have Death living there?

[To Tim’s credit, he only sounds a little surprised. It’s..,not the strangest thing he’s heard, and given that there was a whole “literal walking skeleton proclaiming himself Death” back in the Castle, it makes sense that it would be...you know. A Thing.]

[He can’t help but wonder if it’s the same Death.]

That’s just kinda...it’s how they cope.

[Acting out. Being deliberately and provocatively creepy.]

Doesn’t make it okay, I know.

[ohshitsweetflips]

I dunno, we're gonna do like, a Grand Tour thing, we're not gonna bogart Ren all day. Like Lup said, we know where you live.

[Know, and at least in Taako and Ren's case, have probably also broken in for fun.]

Maybe like, the beach? 'S really your call, homie.

[buryyourfriends]

[Well it's sure gonna be a surprise either way.]

Yup, my Grandpa taught me.

[That's probably been a lot of Seto's answers for the things he knows, honestly.]

But I can't do a lot of big words like, um....gravitation. I can say them though!

[ohshitsweetflips]

Really, really living. I was surprised too.

[Now Tim's apologizing for the stabchild, how quaint. Like he could ever be somehow responsible for them, or like damage control is a real option. Look, he knows they're kind of a force of nature, their own thing, not dissimilar to Lup.]

It's fine, they're fine. Usually pretty hilarious, even, with all the spooky stuff. They're not bad to have around. But I can tell them you were wondering.

[Or not.]