lifenet | text ; 8/10

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text ; 8/10

right, cant say im much for mass communication without a character limit but needs must. im new in town, got a couple questions, figured i could crowdsource the answers

1. how have you lot not gone mental from boredom? there's got to be something to do around here that isnt poking about that miserable other island

[This is to say that while Crowley is, in fact, genuinely bored, he's also sort of eager to help around the island (he likes feeling useful, don't @ him about it) but if he actually admitted that out loud he'd immediately crumble to dust, because he's a demon, and demons aren't helpful.]

2. follow up to point 1, has anyone got a good grasp of what animals can be hunted? ive seen flowering sheep and furbies and i dont wanna waste energy on something thats not edible

3. bad idea to swim in the lake? yes or no?

4. ill trade my left arm for a bloody tshirt if anyones got a spare

[Not technically a question, but please, he's dying squirtle.]

cheers

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I have been keeping a garden, myself.

[Sorry to break the text train here, but his big old goat fingers don't do the texting so great]

I grow enough to provide Denny with some crops and herbs, and my tea blends. That is more than enough to keep me busy, most of the time. I do not know very much about hunting, I'm afraid.

[.....]

Oh, but there were some delightful "galaxy cat" t-shirts in the Temple! I am not sure if they are still there, but there were quite a lot when last I saw.

[That's alright, he's fine with using the voice option for one-on-one conversation, he just felt weird making a broadcast like that. He's not a radio announcer.]

Suppose I could pick up some plants, not really used to growing anything that can be eaten but the principal has to be roughly the same.

[Can he still yell at them? Will that still work as a motivation for the plants to grow? He hasn't tested that part of his powers here.]

Thanks for the tip on the shirts.

[He isn't certain how he feels about the concept of "galaxy cat" but beggars probably can't be choosers.]

Of course! They come in many sizes - it was nice to have some new clothes that would fit.

[Asgore is very much under the impression that "galaxy cat" is some hip new thing the kids are into. Maybe a "meme". Either way he'd be wearing the shirts, they came like like 4XL and he arrived with two outfits, one of which was a sweater.]

Nuidan, the island I got most of my seeds from, is gone now. If you are interested in anything in particular, I would be happy to provide some cuttings.

I think I run pretty average as far as sizes go, been a while since I've been into a shop.

[That's the problem with getting used to creating clothes from raw firmament.]

Oh, you know what, I'd be keen on that actually, I'll take anything you don't mind parting with. And any advice on the particulars of growing them, my plants back home were all indoor varieties. [Since he's asking for something of a favor, he figures he should introduce him.] I'm Anthony, by the by, hullo.

My name is Asgore. It's nice to meet you, Anthony.

[Shame he can't outsource that sugarcane production here]

You may come by and see what I have any time you like. I live on the southeastern islet - the one to the east if you go to the southernmost mana pool, that is. [Once again, the fact that the islets aren't named makes everything like ten times more complicated, and this is a new person besides] I would be happy to meet you by the mana pool, if that would be easier.

Pleasure's all mine, Asgore.

[Interesting name. Crowley is starting to wonder if it might be easier to just drop the Anthony sooner rather than later, since a lot of people in this place have non-typical names. Just going by Crowley probably won't raise eyebrows.]

I reckon I can figure it out, I'm not too shabby with my cardinal directions. [Sort of an ingrained thing, really.] Can I, uh — could I bring something in return for the cuttings? I'm out of practice with the whole barter system, but if there's anything...

[It's not being nice, he's just being practical and polite because that makes life easier when he's going to be living alongside these people. Never mind that any other demon would just take what they wanted without even considering trade.]

Oh - well, you do not have to, but if you like?

[He clearly did not expect any sort of offer like that.]

I should probably mention that I am not a human. I am a monster - humans have said that I resemble a goat? [He's never thought it was all that strong, but okay? He doesn't even have hooves.]

How d'you feel about wine?

[Look..... Crowley doesn't have a lot else to offer but he can and will miracle up some wine, that seems like a fair trade. He'll have to be cagey about where he got it, although maybe not? Maybe he could be a little more open with a 'monster'?

Especially since he realizes he recognizes that name.]

Right, yup, my friend met you, I think. Goes by Aziraphale, probably made an arse of himself, but he mentioned you weren't exactly human-shaped. [Weird phrasing] It's not a big deal, though, I mean — I guess I get why you gotta mention it, but it's fine.

[He's not gonna be weird about it, or like, frightened. It'd be pretty hypocritical of him if he was.]

I suppose it is alright.

[Frankly, he doesn't have much care for it; alcohol has never been a beverage of choice. But a bottle of wine might be nice to have around for guests?]

Oh! Yes, I did meet him! It is so nice that you are both here. [He sounds a little wistful, but then, who doesn't want to arrive with a friend?] Yes, sometimes people can be a little alarmed, if they are expecting me to be something else. It is understandable - I am rather large.

You suppose? [Not good enough, then.] How about chocolates?

[Everyone loves chocolates.]

Convenient more than anything, someone's got to keep an eye on him. [And it's been Crowley's job for a good millennia or three at least.] Well, you don't have to worry, promise I won't be at all alarmed.

[He's seen worse, probably.]

Ah -

[Fun news: chocolate immediately reminds him of his child who just vanished like two days ago!]

- er, yes, that sounds...nice. [...] I planted a cacao tree recently. I had thought to make chocolate from it eventually, or at least cocoa for the children.

[ANYWAY wow let's move on. Monsters, humans, right. It makes sense that Crowley might be more used to non-humans. He might be the same sort of being as Aziraphale. Asgore's not quite sure what that is, only that he didn't have a human soul. Whatever he had instead was bright, and he felt like he wasn't seeing all of it - but he's seen all sorts of things in that regard, with so many various non-humans about. He doesn't tend to make much of such things.]

That is good to hear.

[WHOOPS.

It's easy to hear something of hesitation there, but Crowley likes to think he's fairly good at reading people, and he gets the impression it's time to let this go. Maybe he'll just turn up empty handed and offer to miracle up whatever Asgore wants. It's easier to do that sort of thing in person.]

Sounds like they'd probably appreciate that, most kids love chocolate.

[He'd offer to help, but he knows very little about chocolate production. He never spent much time with the Mayans.]

If you've got nothing happening now, I could pop over in a bit? I'd give a better estimate on the time, but my watch stopped working when I got here.

[$18,500 watch and it can't survive a little dip in the ocean. Tragic.]

I'm afraid that happens with most technology. I actually have a machine that is meant to open doorways between worlds - like how we were brought here - but it has not worked since I arrived.

[He never really used it personally anyway. Alex had opened the door to get them out of Beacon, and Asgore was gone before they left the lab. But he likes to think he could at least figure out how to make it take him back home, if it would turn on at all.]

That would be just fine. I am not doing much at present. Would you like a cup of tea when you arrive?

Shame, that'd be a big help, something like that.

[It makes sense, though, the same way that it makes sense that Crowley's ability to move himself through space has been cut off. Whatever brought them here doesn't want to them to leave so easily.

They could've let him keep his watch functional, though.]

Oh, I'd love a cup of tea. Nothing that tastes like anise if you don't mind, but I've no preferences other than that.

Very well. I will put a pot on to boil, and you can see what I have when you get here.

[Ha ha what's making a decision on someone else's behalf, it's like you think he's some kind of ruler or other person whose whole job that supposedly is]

Sure thing, I'll see you soon, Asgore.

[If he was more certain of his ability to make people not see him, Crowley could've made the journey nice and quick by flying over the water, but as it is, he feels better taking the long route.

It's a nice walk, though, and he maybe cheats once or twice with a little teleportation, until he finds what he can only assume is Asgore's house, just based on the sheer number of plants around it. Crowley spends a moment just admiring it, breathing in the scent of fresh growth.

Then he spots the apple tree a little further off and laughs, chuckling to himself as he heads to the door to knock. He's a polite young man.]

[Asgore had rather intended to go and try meeting Crowley halfway anyhow, but he arrives a little quicker than he expected. Ah, well, the water is ready anyhow.]

Ah, howdy, Crowley. Please, come in.

[The house is much nicer, ever since Harv upgraded them; it's not really a shack anymore. But the floorboards have been neatly removed in places to leave only dirt, because half of the furniture is just plants. The table is formed of sturdy vines winding around a low trellis, and one of the chairs is just a very large flower. The other's a regular chair; there's a bud growing on the other side of the table, but it's hardly ready to be sat upon yet.

The small fireplace is alight with white-silver flame that doesn't seem to be giving off much heat, although the kettle above it is boiling. Asgore bends to remove it.]

What would you like? I have a few blends made from flowers native to these islands, if that sounds interesting.

Heya, your garden's lovely.

[Crowley gives Asgore a once over, but it's a quick assessment, the same sort of look he'd give anyone new he's meeting, just taking stock of them. He might be a demon, but he's not going to be rude and stare.

Speaking of rude, he hesitates only briefly as he steps inside, before carefully removing his sunglasses and tucking them into the pocket of his jacket. He's used to wearing them all the time, mostly because it's easier than having a constant low level thrum of don't look at me magic surrounding him. But he knows it's considered a bit impolite to leave them on inside, and this guy's a monster, apparently. He likely won't fuss about Crowley's slitted pupils.

Unlike the quick once over he gave Asgore, Crowley is more open about taking in the interior of the house, eyebrows climbing up at the sight of a table and chair made out of plants. Why didn't the Almighty ever think of that?]

Oh, sure, let's go something native. I'm a big fan of bitter, or tannic, if you've got anything along those lines.

[Sort of an odd flavor profile to be a fan of, but he likes anything that's strong, and bitter flavors tend to come across better. There's a reason he drinks his coffee black.]

[Indeed, Crowley's eyes don't even get a second glance. Asgore had already known he wasn't a human anyway, and with the near-infinite variety found in monster appearances, they really aren't that remarkable.]

Candle flower, then. It is made from those flowers out there, by the trees.

[It is broad daylight outside, and the light of the lantern flowers twining up and around his door isn't really bright enough to compete. But the candle flowers, which thrive in the shade, are a tiny bit visibly glowing.]

It is supposed to be good for colds! Though I have not had the opportunity to see.

[It isn't hard to guess which plant the candle flower might be, when he takes a peek through the window, and Crowley immediately decides that he'd like to take a cutting of those, if possible. Aziraphale will like them.

He nearly asks after them, before he's distracted by what Asgore says next.]

Ugh, really hope I don't have to find that out either. Don't know if this body is going to get sick now, I guess I'll have to be careful about it.

[He hasn't been sick in his entire existence and he's not sure how far his abilities extend now. He knows he can still heal faster than a human, he tested that on his second day, but he has no idea if it'll cover sickness as well.

Having a corporeal body turns out to be a hassle when he's stripped of a lot of his magic.]

What's the thing humans need? Vitamins? You know anything about that?

[Vitamins are in plants, right?]

Oh, goodness, not very much. Monsters are made of dust and magic, not flesh and blood. Things work differently for us.

[He literally just learned about stuff like tetanus like, a few years back.

Asgore goes ahead and pours the tea, one cup for Crowley and one for himself. This isn't the first time he's heard of people's bodily needs changing. His own haven't very much, although his magical stamina is not what it was.]

I suppose it is important to eat a varied diet, and get plenty of rest and exercise. Did you need to do any of that previously?

Dust and magic.

[He repeats it, rolling the words around in his mouth, almost a question but not quite. He wonders what dust means, if it's literal or if it could be a word for something else.

He won't outright ask, though, in case it's impolite.]

Never had to do much to keep this thing going. [Crowley claims his mug, lets the warmth of it seep into his hands. It makes him miss London, suddenly, but he pushes the feeling down.] I've always liked a good nap and a good glass of wine. Or tea. Or whiskey. But it's never been necessary.

You speak of it as though it is a vessel. Are you incorporeal?

[Asgore sounds like it's a totally pedestrian idea to him. He's thinking of ghost monsters, really; if one of them inhabits a body without bonding to it, that's pretty much how it goes.]

Sort of, I suppose. I got this form back when we started mucking about in a physical plane, but I'm something else underneath it all. Not very pretty, I'm afraid.

[Maybe he was, once, although angelic forms aren't exactly easy on the eyes either.

Be not afraid, and all that.]

Have you got Christianity, where you're from?

I'm sure that is not true.

[It's an automatic response, meant to be kind. What's a societal beauty standard anyway, for a monster? At the question, Asgore frowns, casting his mind back. He's heard humans use "Christ" as some kind of oath. And he's fairly sure Krauser mentioned the full word, back in the chapel at Beacon...]

Oh...that is one of the human religions, is it not? I suppose they may have it in my world, but my people have not had direct contact with humanity for quite some time. Why do you ask?

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