text ; 8/10

[demonicmiracle]

right, cant say im much for mass communication without a character limit but needs must. im new in town, got a couple questions, figured i could crowdsource the answers

1. how have you lot not gone mental from boredom? there's got to be something to do around here that isnt poking about that miserable other island

[This is to say that while Crowley is, in fact, genuinely bored, he's also sort of eager to help around the island (he likes feeling useful, don't @ him about it) but if he actually admitted that out loud he'd immediately crumble to dust, because he's a demon, and demons aren't helpful.]

2. follow up to point 1, has anyone got a good grasp of what animals can be hunted? ive seen flowering sheep and furbies and i dont wanna waste energy on something thats not edible

3. bad idea to swim in the lake? yes or no?

4. ill trade my left arm for a bloody tshirt if anyones got a spare

[Not technically a question, but please, he's dying squirtle.]

cheers

Comments

[yourattention]

basketweaving
why fuckin hunt we have tame-ass cows
lakes probably fine dont swim in the open ocean
probably still a tshirt in the temple clothes room if you look

[vagabone]

There's a library and a restaurant called the Denny

Also some clothes in the SToryteller's temple. Some of the t shirts are hilarious, if they're still there

[demonicmiracle]

gotta admit im a little outta practice with weaving but i could give it a shot
is it a sustainable amount of cows? seems a lot of people around the place and last i checked they take a while to do all that breeding and maturing business
whats in the ocean worth worrying about?
the storytellers temple, right?

[demonicmiracle]

afraid i dont go in much for reading

[This is a lie but it's important to maintain an image.]

this place needs a how-to guide, i missed the memo about spare clothes in the temple

[vagabone]

[Funny, that!]

I think some of us are trying to put everything we know together, but that's also in the library

[demonicmiracle]

course it is
should see about getting it set up on these knockoff iphones once its done. everyone shows up with one dont they? not everyones going to find the library on their first day

[bibliophilicbells]

What did apostrophes ever do to you?

[demonicmiracle]

they know what they did

[bibliophilicbells]

And capitals? And punctuation?

Really, my dear.

[demonicmiracle]

language evolves, angel, its the 21st century this is how we do things now

[yourattention]

[Where the other response came in as a single text, these one come in rapid succession.]

realistically how much cow are you even gonna eat at once a cow can feed like 500 people

a cow can feed our entire population for like a week

anyway they breed without promoting so we kind of have to kill them to keep the population actually sustainable

oceans haunted

y

[bibliophilicbells]

Is it, though?

[Because, come to think of it, he has no idea what year it actually is.]

[vagabone]

far as I can tell. How would you set that up

I never owned one of those tiny phones back home. The real ones that aren't magic rocks

🥺

[demonicmiracle]

i mean not here but it is back home, youre gonna have to catch up eventually

[bibliophilicbells]

Not necessarily.

And anyway, I already have! I figured out the little pictures!

🌈

[demonicmiracle]

you can get that much meat out of a cow?

[Crowley, who has no need to eat: that doesn't sound right, but I don't know enough about cows to dispute it.]

you know you can stop them doing that if you keep them away from each other. hard to have sex through a fence, apparently

ill take your word for it

good to know, afraid i didnt really dress for the tropics when i got up the morning of my delightful kidnapping

[demonicmiracle]

theres got to be some way to do it, im not bad with mobiles but these are a bit different than what im used to

youre from earth then?

[demonicmiracle]

im very proud of you

[bibliophilicbells]

😊

[vagabone]

yes!

not the living world though 💀👻

[demonicmiracle]

hows that work then? you dont really hear about dead people going on holidays to the tropics
no offense

[Is that offensive? He doesn't really talk to dead people a lot, those parts of Hell are best avoided.]

[yourattention]

[Man, Crowley, I got bad news for you about how much meat a cow produces. Keeping in mind that on average a person eats 8 to 12 oz of beef? "Like 500 people" is actually a conservative estimate. It's closer to 800.]

man that assumes we have way more space and resources than we actually do

have you seen this place we only got agriculture six months ago

[demonicmiracle]

[He doesn't even know that dolphins are mammals please leave this old man alone.]

i mean youve got houses, fences usually come along around the same time

[vagabone]

none taken

I have NO idea, went to sleep like any other night, woke up in the sand with an animate elevator chasing me

And trust me, I'm more than ready to get back to being dead.

[demonicmiracle]

[an animate elevator???]

guess you had the good end of the afterlife stick then huh? before you got here, i mean

[If Crowley's options were "here" or "Hell", he'd take here.]