WANTED: WOODWORKING TOOLS

[proficienciesouttheass]

IM LOOKING FOR WOODWORKING TOOLS.

WANTED: ANY AND ALL WOODWORKING AND CARPENTRY TOOLS. HAMMERS. CHISELS. SAWS. ANYTHING YOU HAVE.

PENCILS. CHALK. PAPER. WHATEVER.

CAN TRADE. I CAN MAKE YOU SOMETHING. OR HUNT. OR LIFT SOMETHING REALLY HEAVY.

ASK FOR MAGNUS BURNSIDES.

- MAGNUS

PS:YOU GOT A MONSTER PROBLEM, YOU CAN COME TO ME.

PPS: WHAT THE FUCK WHERE THOSE ISLANDS THOUGH?

Comments

[proficienciesouttheass]

Oh, that doesn't sound so hard. I can't totally get one of those guys for you.

How big? Like, turkey size, ostrich sized, what?

[yallstupid]

[What in the world is a turkey and an ostrich?]

Wha--prob'ly like, uh...I guess like this big? [He holds up his hands a few inches apart, trying to mimic how big some of the birds can get and what they can properly eat in a few sittings.] Only two'a us and the kid don't eat too much.

[proficienciesouttheass]

Oh! That's not so bad.

[ Man, if they went into Pokemon, "regular" animals from Magnus's home and all the fantasy creatures he's seen through the years...the multiple real worlds are really some fantastic places.

He pulls his ax from where its held on his back, for emphasis. ]

Just get ya a couple of birds, then?

[yallstupid]

[Guzma eyes that ax for a moment and rubs his throat absently. All of a sudden he's starting to feel a bit bad for the poor birds. I mean, that's not going to stop him from thinking they're delicious and cooking them (and their eggs), but it's...woof. It's hard to see that big weapon and imagine a living thing's head just come clean off.]

Y-Yeah...just be careful when y'all go rustling them feathers, homeboy. The birds get mad rowdy when y'all mess with their flock, yeah? And they gang up on you. Grab one and get to gettin'.

[proficienciesouttheass]

[ He probably wouldn't like to go on adventures with Magnus. It's not so much like there's high levels of beheading, but just a lot of random carnage in general.

He doesn't seem to entirely notice the unease in Guzma's face, though. ]

Aw, c'mon, how bad can it be?

[ Famous last words. ]

[yallstupid]

[Oh, you sweet summer child.

Guzma raises a brow, purses his lips, then pops them as he stuffs his hands in his pockets. He shouldn't be condoning this guy's birdly demise, but what better way to learn not to mess with the blue chickens than to experience it firsthand?]

Well, y'all are welcome to rustle some feathers, but don't say I didn't warn you...

[proficienciesouttheass]

[ A lot of people would agree that Magnus is a very hands-on learner. Specially when it comes to whether or not you should fight a thing. ]

Aaaah, it'll be fiiiine. [ He gives Guzma a friend smack in the shoulder. It maybe be, perhaps, too hard. No harm?]

I'll getcha your big turkeys in no time.

[yallstupid]

[Grunting from the impact of the rough smack, Guzma rolls his shoulder with a slight wince. Ow? Ow. He's had worse, but homeboy here needs to watch who he's slapping around.]

Yeah, yeah...I'll be around. Just make sure y'all don't show up with no bleeding corpse at my door, yeah? Don't think my housemate'd take too kindly to that being fed to 'er. [Neither would he, to be perfectly fair.] See ya, big guy.

[And, with business done, he'll turn to go after telling Magnus where he lives on the islets, when he's got his butchered quarry.]