lifenet | [ LET'S PLAY A GAME ] ; i'm just such a happy mess

[The vindication she feels is enough to last her a lifetime. She wouldn't lie about a cat, gosh.

It takes her another full second to connect the dots that this bean is the purple writer she had been speaking with before.]

He's a good boy.

[And true to his good boy nature, he watches the newcomer, whooooshing his lil tail back and forth.]

This is 'ESP kitty'. That's his name.

[ESP kitty.]

[Of course it's not a great name, but something about it is amusing. Maybe the idea that it might potentially confuse other people with just how bizarre and out-of-place it is. Gabe crouches slowly, never once taking his eyes off the cat.]

[He's never gotten to pet a cat. Not once.]

You named him?

His friend gave him that good name.

[Keep your eyes on the prize, friend. ESP kitty returns the gaze in his own mild mannered way, standing up and purring when Ren begins to scratch his back.]

He likes it when you do this kind of thing.

[And she moves her fingers up to gently scratch behind his ears. Good boy, best boy. She loves him so much.]

[His eyes are well and truly on the prize. Now how does he draw this promise of a new and unknown experience to himself while still retaining his reputation as a cocky, standoffish asshole of a teenage boy? He's already staring at the cat too fixedly, too intently, for that charade to stay in play.]

[He looks away. Look at him. He doesn't even care, gosh.]

Your "friend" is pretty terrible at names.

[Thems fightin words. The heck?? Murasaki did his best to give his friend a nice, cute name. ]

I like it-[A pause, and she moves to scratch under his cute cat chin.]-He likes it too. I can tell that kind of thing.

[And because ESP kitty is such a good, pure boy who doesn't understand when someone insults his kitty namesake, he starts to plod over towards the totally uninterested party.]

So it's a good name.

He's a cat. He doesn't care what name he has, as long as you feed him.

[How long can he keep this up? How long does he have to go until she starts to understand that he's just here to be an agitation, nothing more? How much longer before she oh god it's coming closer this is tearing down his cool and collected air by the second because the cat is coming closer and he's only seen one cat in his life, the one Mom crushed beneath the tire because she was trying to teach Natalie how to park the Honda and she wasn't checking her mirrors, and Natalie cried for days after even if she pretended not to be surprised.]

[This cat looks very much like he might consent to being crushed beneath a tire if it meant getting a scratch behind the ears before and after, so terribly unconcerned he seems with the proceedings.]

[Gabe stares at the cat, hard, like that might chase him away.]

What? [he says to the cat, somewhat defensively. He's talking to a cat. Stop him.]

[The only saving grace is the cat, who's doing his best, because Ren's already 130% not okay with how this is going down. A part of her attributes it to him being unable to understand cats like she does. That would be well and good if his voice wasn't so-

She's watching this interaction carefully, waiting for an indication the cat isn't having a good time anymore. It would only take a second to scoop the cat into her arms and meander into the woods, but him staying this calm is-well, it means things are fine.

At his what ESP kitty stretches his front paws forward like he's beginning his daily yoga routine by this new person. Love him dammit.]

He only speaks 'nya'. That's the language he knows.

[And then-]

You can hold out your hand and say 'hello' that way.

[Let this good boy smell you!!!]

[He only speaks 'nya.' Jesus, and she's completely sincere. That's the problem with kids. He could tell her no, and no, and no, and no, and she would continue to be completely sincere, and the cat would not care about how cruel he is.]

[Short of trying to run the cat over with a car he doesn't have, he - ]

[He's not going to run the cat over. God.]

[He holds out a hand in the absence of anything else to do, because he honestly can't think of any other retort to - to this ridiculous situation that he himself has placed himself in. Like an idiot. A large part of him hopes that the cat can smell the dead body on him, and doesn't dare venture closer.]

[A larger part hopes that he does anyway.]

[The nice thing about anime cats from a show you know nothing about is that maybe they don't care if you smell a little like dead body.

Good boys that only speak nya care about warm hands that are going to scratch their ears, not the stink on his fingers. As is the case now. ESP Kitty sniffs his hand and rubs the side of his face against it. Now you smell like dirty kitty and not dead boy!! Congrats!!

And Ren, pleased by the reaction, gently scratches his back.]

That's how you talk to cats. He's saying 'hello' back.

[...weird.]

[But it's not unpleasant, is it? It's not a disagreeable feeling, the sensation of a small, furry animal rubbing up against his fingertips. Slowly, he starts to pet the cat back, trying his best not to look as rapt and intent as he feels. Every sensation is new, and this is no exception.]

[Especially new in that he seems to like it.]

I don't have any food, puss. [In case the cat is, you know. Asking.]

[This is the reaction she wanted to see. He may not have understood how to interact with cats, but he's learning and she smiles because of it. ESP kitty looks content, clearly basking in all this attention and arching his back to get more pets from this stranger.

This stranger who says something that makes her lean away from the cat and over towards her bag. If she were a normal person, she'd dig in to find what she wants, but when the item she's seeking isn't apparent when she opens the top, she dumps all her garbage onto the ground instead. The cat seems used to this, at least, and doesn't bat an eye.

Don't worry friend. She's got you.

Among the marbles, leaves, rocks and flower covered sticks, she's got a couple tins of cat food left. One of which she holds out to him.]

You can use this food. If you feed him, he'll be your friend. That's how it is.

[That's how it is.]

[It's simple logic. Simple and coherent and, for some reason, he doesn't feel much like questioning it. It doesn't occur to him that he should. He accepts one of the tins, turning it over and over in his hands. He doesn't have a means of opening it, short of bashing it open on a rock.]

[Somehow, admitting that to the child's face feels like it might be a failure. He digs into his pocket before extricating a razor. It was among his things when he awoke, though why - why, he can't say. He's never needed to shave a day in his life, and probably never will.]

[It's useful for other things. Like levering the top off the tin and setting it down for the cat's benefit.]

Doesn't make a lot of noise, does he?

[She's so proud of this little doodle nugget.

The noise comes when the cat shoves his face into the newly opened tin of food, purring away at the rare treat. These tins are typically saved as a last resort, as she finds it easier to throw fish his way or share the meals offered to her by others. This boy will surely be in her cat's good graces now.]

That's because he's a good boy.

[Ren gives him a little paw boop with her finger. This island is safer than her world in some ways and far more dangerous in others. A quiet cat is easier to protect.]

He purrs like this when he's happy and says 'nya' so you'll look at him.

[And not that her good boy will do this, but cat lesson 101 might as well continue to the very end.]

Sometimes they-[She ruffles his fur a little, making it stand up.]-puff like this because they're mad. If they growl, you have to stay back until they like you again.

[Gabe scoffs at that, albeit softly. How much damage could a cat do to something like him? He doesn't follow orders from felines. That's not how this works. He takes what he wants from the world as it is presented to him, and anyone who believes otherwise has it dead wrong.]

You have to?

[Color him skeptical. He doesn't have to do anything. Especially if it's a cat that wants him to do it.]

Edited 2018-01-03 01:09 (UTC)

[ESP kitty continues to scarf down the food, purring away, as she educates this scrub on the art of cat whispering. She fluffs up more of his fur to prove a point!! You can't pet cats that look like this. Normally.]

If you don't, they'll get mad and scratch you. That's what they do when they're scared.

People kinda tend to do that too.

[Maybe not literally. Not always literally. He certainly never did literally, but he did manage it in the decidedly metaphorical sense, which is where all those sorts of hits should land. Absolutely the kind of thing children talk about with other children.]

[Okay friend. She's listens to what he says, rolling the words around in her mind, because they get mad. And that anger can turn to fear. That's true. She's seen that time and time again in the form of angry spirits whose emotions corrupted them beyond help. Sometimes with people on the island. It's not often, and she can't recall an instance where it's been directed at her, but they do.

But she's a girl that takes things literally and her mind wanders to instances where people have scratched each other in anger. As far as she knows, that hasn't happened yet.]

People don't have paws. They can't do that.

[She looks at her nails, for a moment, and holds up her hand-]

These aren't sharp.

But they can still bite.

[He grins, with teeth that are neither threatening nor pointy, and makes a stupid little fake-growl sound to accentuate his point. Immediately, he regrets it. Way to damage his too cool, standoffish persona.]

[Then again, he's petting a cat. He's talking to a little girl and petting a cat.]

[God he hopes no one else is watching this.]

[It would be a threatening gesture, if the cat by her side had looked up from cleaning his face and reacted to that noise for even a second. Which he doesn't. At all. The fake growl was just that and Ren smiles ear to ear, mimicking the quiet growling noise in the back of her throat.]

I can do that kind of thing too.

[People don't fight that way, she's sure, but now she's having fun. The entire point of the conversation flying over her head and landing in another world. Time to play a game.]

Can you make other noises?

[Goddamnit, he's ruined his reputation already.]

[Now what's she playing at? Gabe's eyes narrow slightly as he stares at her, simultaneously expecting some kind of play while not actually knowing what to expect beyond that. She's just a kid. But then, so's he. Age isn't as big a factor as people seem to think it is, when it comes to innocence.]

...why?

I think making noises like that-

[Growing up around the other kids gave her the opportunity to play with them, but she doesn't remember any games they were able to enjoy together. Their shared illness crept up and killed most of them early on.]

It's a fun game.

[He regards Ren suspiciously for several long, silent moments, then breaks away to scan his surroundings. No one seems to be watching. No one's here to taunt him for ruining his cool, cocky persona. It's fine.]

[What's the harm, anyway?]

...fine. Why not?

What's the game?

[That's right! Play with her, new friend. Especially now that her cat is taking a little tiger snooze-they can't leave for awhile. She doesn't want to wake him up.

Even though the game she made up in the last ten seconds might do that.]

You make a noise and-

[She pauses, trying to figure out the rules to this fake game.]

You guess the animal. That's the game.

[That...that’s it? That’s the game? Gabe not only has no problems questioning that at all, but he also has no problems making it completely obvious that he thinks that might be the stupidest game idea he’s ever heard of. It’s so easy. There’s no challenge at all. What’s the point in a game like that?]

That’s it?

[Surely there has to be more?]

Yes.

[And then there's another pause because, well, games have-]

And you get points.

[How many?? What for?? What happens if you win?? All questions she's not going to answer because it's dependent on her childish whims. Sorry, Gabe. This is what happens when you have a terrible girl instead of a rule book to guide a game.]

Do you want to make a noise first?

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