text; 9/30

[yourattention]

psa: dont fuckin come near my house for the foreseeable future (aka like at least a month) bc mistakes were made and things are kind of on fire

literally

they are literally on fire

no i dont need help i know what im doing

Comments

[atailoftwoworlds]

u know thats the worst way to convince people not to come and help right?

[yourattention]

its baby so it doesnt fly very well

[aka: He Absolutely Doesn't Know.]

[yourattention]

[Here is the problem with Connor's house: he has a bunch of bludrocs living under his house that he taught to act like a doorbell. That wasn't actually the intended outcome, but the end result is that if you approach it the house, the bludrocs scream. The bludrocs screaming means that his new pet dragon perks the fuck up because the new hoard is under attack and it hasn't learned to differentiate between visitors and attackers.

So anyway what I'm saying is there's an baby about the size of - it's like the size of a miniature horse or a wolf. It would very much like for Chip to go away, because this is its house and you're bothering the bird friends.]

[yourattention]

i forget yall are disrespectful motherfuckers who dont respect ppls wishes

[demonpuppy]

[Well, a tiny bit of good news is that the baby looks enough like a '''proper''' dragon that Chip isn't immediately angry at it for existing!]

[The bad news is that they are absolutely staring death in the face and they have poor snap judgement skills.]

[So they of course holler for their life and instinctively throw a messy fear spell at it before jumping for one of the trees with their Pauldron.]

[solperierat]

so reassuring

alright i'll be there in a while

[And something like twenty minutes later, a flying goat man is circling above the compound! What's the situation, my fine man?]

[atailoftwoworlds]

ahhhhh so after u wrote that things are 'things are kind of on fire. literally', u expect people to not be worried and go "sure buddy carry on"? get real.

[yourattention]

yeah bc i dont stick my nose into ppls biz when they ask me not to

i dont think its rude to expect the same courtesy when i say i would prefer if everybody stay away

so late

[vagabone]

what is going on!!

text

[deathfindsaway]

I'm obligated to ask, for the sake of your continued life and not dying again.
Do you really know what you're doing?
Or perhaps need some assistance?

[yourattention]

absolutely nothing

[yourattention]

bold of you to assume i wont die just to spite you cabbages

[vagabone]

You tell us things are on fire again and then say it's nothing

Are the dragons back

[yourattention]

in the strictest possible interpretation of that question: no

[vagabone]

Just as easy to say we missed a couple of them, you know.

Wait, where exactly do you live

[yourattention]

well that would be a lie which is why i didnt say it

anyway how do you not know where i live isnt there a sign in the denny about it

[There is, technically.]

[vagabone]

No, there isn't.

Is there? Also, dragons? Yes or no?

[yourattention]

idk maybe someone took it down after umui but it was up for a while

anyway no there are not dragons

[That would imply that there was more than one. There isn't. There is (1) singular dragon.]

[vagabone]

dios. What is this? Are you trying to drive us all crazy with worry? Stop being so difficult about it

Are you hurt? Is your house really on fire?

[yourattention]

listen its not my fault yall cant mind your own biz

if i was hurt i probably wouldn't be typing rn anyway my house was on fire and could shortly be on fire but is not currently, this exact second, on fire

[vagabone]

You messaged us and you know people worry

What's causing the fires?

[yourattention]

a baby who doesnt know any better

[vagabone]

Kid

a baby what!!

[deathfindsaway]

I would truly appreciate if you didn't.
Even if you did, I somehow find doubt you would pick burning to death as the way to go.
Why exactly are things supposed to be on fire?

[yourattention]

[Sent in quick sucession, as multiple texts:]

well if im gonna die on purpose im going to be dramatic about it

also "supposed to be" implies i planned this

im way too dumb for that

be realistic cabbages

[Kravitz should know better than to expect an answer from Connor.]