text; 9/30

[yourattention]

psa: dont fuckin come near my house for the foreseeable future (aka like at least a month) bc mistakes were made and things are kind of on fire

literally

they are literally on fire

no i dont need help i know what im doing

Comments

[yourattention]

[Sent in quick sucession, as multiple texts:]

well if im gonna die on purpose im going to be dramatic about it

also "supposed to be" implies i planned this

im way too dumb for that

be realistic cabbages

[Kravitz should know better than to expect an answer from Connor.]

[deathfindsaway]

[He cannot type that fast, which is why everything comes in as one block of text. It also takes him a bit, because he had to start and stop writing each time with more information and insults coming in at rapid speed.]

You said you knew what you were doing and that things were on fire.
I assumed this meant there was a controlled flame, in giving you the benefit of the doubt.
At your insistence, I'll mark that down as a mistake for future reference.
Now, to the topic at hand.
Why is there an excessive amount of fire?

[yourattention]

oh apparently im dovahkiin and i accidentally started the dragonborn dlc so i have a dragon in my house now

[There are absolutely no other texts explaining this probably concerning statement.]

[deathfindsaway]

[2/3rds of that was completely incomprehensible. Thankfully, or maybe unthankfully for the sake of Kravitz' heart, he thinks he got the part that really matters. Which is why Connor will get one text back very, very quickly.]

waht

[And then a follow up a minute or so later.]

you took one of the little ones didn't you

[yourattention]

well no bc that implies this was intentional and thats deffo not the case a dragon just lives here now

[deathfindsaway]

I suppose, to be entirely fair, I too wouldn't want to say it was my job to stop a dragon from following me home.
And I presume it isn't eating you, just... making fire. Of things.
Have you thought of not keeping it in your house...?

[yourattention]

wow yeah i have never thought of that and am definitely keeping a dragon in my house because i think its a good idea and not just because it lives here now ill get right on trying to make it leave thats gonna go great

[deathfindsaway]

[A long, drawn out sigh, despite the fact that he walked right into that one.]

Let me rephrase.
I was thinking perhaps it was in your home out of lack of a secondary location with which to keep it.
Of which I could attempt to suss this out with you, and possibly assist in transportation, if you were so willing.
So how about that, hm?
Is that still an idiotic response?

[yourattention]

cabbages you know how some people who are elves and also named taako or lup do not leave you alone and sometimes set things on fire because they believe thats a valid response to disagreeing with someone

[There's a pause between that message and the next ones. It's less because he's trying for dramatic effect and more because he's dealing with things being On Fire.]

imagine that but in the shape of a dragon

the dragon followed me home and will not leave so you can TRY to take it away from me but it will probably set you on fire and then try to sit in my lap again

[The dragon is the size of a small pony. It extremely does not fit in Connor's lap.]

believe me i extremely would not be in this situation if i could help it

[deathfindsaway]

[Kravitz is just massaging his temples between messages. God help him for making an attempt.]

I see.
I suppose I was under the impression that this was more hostile than friendly but I can now see otherwise.
Well, there may be some fireproofing items back at the main one's hoard.
Or at least there should be scales to remove for the floors and maybe yourself.