text; 9/30

[yourattention]

psa: dont fuckin come near my house for the foreseeable future (aka like at least a month) bc mistakes were made and things are kind of on fire

literally

they are literally on fire

no i dont need help i know what im doing

Comments

[solperierat]

you do realize that is the least reassuring way to phrase any of that right?

[yourattention]

its fine im a very competent human being

[solperierat]

clearly

do you need fire retardant for whatever the fuck you have going on

[yourattention]

can u make a tree not catch fire

[eudaimonikos]

A month seems like a long time.

Are you a human?

[yourattention]

no im dancer

[There is always time for memes.]

[solperierat]

i can make a coating that can keep them from catching fire

[He doesn't know how it would affect the trees' health itself, but A: he can just transmute it off if needed, and B: that's a tomorrow problem.]



[And C: Epsilon isn't looking at this exact moment so it's fine probably.]

[eudaimonikos]

[There's something of a pause.]

I feel like there's some kind of reference I'm not getting here.

AUDIO

[postictal]

[Fuck this, AUDIO TIME. It's very evident from the panting and the sounds of cracking twigs underfoot that Tim is on the move as he's speaking into his rock.]

Uh, Connor?



What the fuck.

text

[yourattention]

good news: i lived bitch!

bad news: the manner in which i accomplished this was a mistake

[For the record, he's responding with text because he's a considerate human being and he still has All Star going in the bg.]

[yourattention]

im on my knees looking for the answer: are we human? or are we dancer?

[It is killing him not to sing this.]

audio

[postictal]

[HE'S NOT TEXTING AND RUNNING AT THE SAME TIME, OKAY]

What did you set on fire and why.

[yourattention]

actually i need the time out basket to be fireproof thats probably easier

text

[yourattention]

[Listen. Get good, Tim.]

i didnt set anything on fire the fire is actually 100% not my fault

its just happening around my house bc mistakes were made

audio

[postictal]

If you didn't, then who?

[Why are things on fire, Connor]

audio

[yourattention]

[Somebody somebody somesomesomesomebody]

Say "hi," dumb baby.

[It's a little hard to hear over the bg music, but there's a very distinctive dragon noise. You know, like the ones that have been going on for like a month. But like. Cute.]

Oh, now you're being cute. Now you've decided to stop spitting up fire.

[hellawrath]

hang on

ur makin fire mistakes and didn't invite me????

[yourattention]

technically the mistake is not the fire its just a side effect of the mistake

[eudaimonikos]

[they don't play that song in Hell! he has no idea what you're on about!]

I only ask because I'm most familiar with how flammable humans are.
Which is very.

audio

[postictal]

[The background noise is negligible compared to the sound of...what is that. Oh my god.]

Connor?

Why do you have a dragon.

text

[yourattention]

i actually have no idea but it was a mistake

being khaleesi is hard

[yourattention]

oh its fine ive just been wearing wet clothes which tbf my clothes are usually wet anyway

audio

[postictal]

Wh...I don't...what does that mean?

What do you mean you have no idea? [DID YOU LEARN NOTHING FROM YOUR SHREK PENALTY]

[hellawrath]

obvs fire's never a mistake

like, 99% of the time

so what's the hot new fuckup 👀

[yourattention]

im being typecast as a colin morgan lookalike and im the dragonlord now

[There are only two ways to cope: memes and pop culture references.]