text ; 8/10

[demonicmiracle]

right, cant say im much for mass communication without a character limit but needs must. im new in town, got a couple questions, figured i could crowdsource the answers

1. how have you lot not gone mental from boredom? there's got to be something to do around here that isnt poking about that miserable other island

[This is to say that while Crowley is, in fact, genuinely bored, he's also sort of eager to help around the island (he likes feeling useful, don't @ him about it) but if he actually admitted that out loud he'd immediately crumble to dust, because he's a demon, and demons aren't helpful.]

2. follow up to point 1, has anyone got a good grasp of what animals can be hunted? ive seen flowering sheep and furbies and i dont wanna waste energy on something thats not edible

3. bad idea to swim in the lake? yes or no?

4. ill trade my left arm for a bloody tshirt if anyones got a spare

[Not technically a question, but please, he's dying squirtle.]

cheers

Comments

[lesbeau]

why have a regular shirt
when you could have sleeveless top

[Typing is so fucking hard but she's pretty sure this makes sense.]

[demonicmiracle]

[Does it, Beau? Does it?]

like a vest?

[lesbeau]

no its a shirt
theres just not sleeves
its cooler

[It would've been what was coming out of her mouth anyway, so like.]

[demonicmiracle]

thats a vest!
oh dont tell me youre american
should i call it a tank top

[lesbeau]

what the fuck is a tank top
its sleeves
or not sleeves
arent vests like open in the front or something literally just a shirt but no sleeves

[demonicmiracle]

thatd be a waistcoat, with the buttons
ive got one of those, doesnt do me much good in the tropics
but a shirt with no sleeves is a vest, id draw you a bloody picture if these things had an attachment function

[lesbeau]

whatever vest i dont care
the point is sleeves are bad wear something else
also not everything open in the front and sleeveless is a waistcoat
my cloak doesnt have buttons

[demonicmiracle]

ive no idea what we're arguing about anymore

[lesbeau]

me either
sleeves i guess

[demonicmiracle]

a lot of fuss over some fabric, really
sleeveless tops are alright, i suppose
if im gonna be risque id usually show some ankle but sleeveless works too

[This is such an Earth specific joke, eventually he's going to learn better.]

[lesbeau]

whats so sexy about an ankle
who knows guys will find anything hot
its gross
my point here is sleeves suck its better not to deal with them
while youre here and stuff, take advantage of the weather

[demonicmiracle]

its real weird what people will get worked up over when youre not supposed to show any skin below the neck

[Bold words coming from someone who saw Aziraphale with his sleeves rolled up once and had to go lie down about it.]

whatve you even got against sleeves
did sleeves kill your family

[lesbeau]

[Haha gay. Don't look at her when she sees Yasha remove her cape and just fuckin' dies.]

well sort of
see its oppression
oppression for these guns

[See, text doesn't convey the weird way she flexes when she wants her biceps to look bigger. Ugh. What a convenient and inconvenient mode of sending information.]

[demonicmiracle]

i think thatd be more effective if i could see you flexing

[lesbeau]

to my credit you knew i was flexing
i think thats as effective i can get on these things
i cant draw it out or anything

[demonicmiracle]

but ive no idea if the flexing was any good
for all i know you havent any muscles at all

[lesbeau]

of course it was
best muscles out here
why else would i recommend things without sleeves
its a commitment alright

[demonicmiracle]

people are very good at lying to themselves about these sorts of things

[lesbeau]

then where are you
show you myself

[SAY THAT TO HER FACE NOT ONLINE SEE WHAT HAPPENS]

[demonicmiracle]

im at denny
if this is that important to you

[It's not important to him, but it is funny.]

--> action!

[lesbeau]

[It's not strictly important to her either, but the challenge is. No backing down from a contest!! Never give up never surrender!!!]

cool
see you soon
look for the girl whos absolutely ripped and youll know

[And she sure enough is Going Over There. Of course, without getting a description of Crowley, she's forced to just wander in with her hands on her hips like she's looking for a challenge. To her credit, she does have muscle- it's just not bodybuilder level. She's made for speed, not raw strength.]

[demonicmiracle]

[Crowley doesn't bother replying, he's honestly half expecting her not to show up, but he's here anyway so it's really no skin off his nose, one way or another.

Beau is fairly obvious, the moment she enters Denny, and Crowley lifts a hand in a lazy wave. There's a glass of whiskey in his hand, he's wearing sunglasses inside like an asshole and has managed to get himself sprawled comfortably on a bench, because he's gay and can't sit properly.]

Oi, sleeveless.

[That's her official designation now.]

[lesbeau]

[Really, it's not hard to find someone with a vendetta against sleeves. Beau hears him, and walks over to cross her arms, tucking her hands under the bicep to make them look more impressive than they are. To be fair, she's got abs for days and isn't not ripped. She's just a dex based fighter is all.]

Hey. I assume you're the dude who cares about sleeves or something.

[Her voice is fairly flat and her gaze straight on him, which does little to convey if she's joking or not.]

[demonicmiracle]

[Oh, she's delightful. Crowley's more than familiar with human posturing to know exactly what Beau is doing with those crossed arms, and the smirk on his face seems to say as much.]

'Course I care about sleeves, you can't just go about showing that much skin, it's not proper.

[He's 100% kidding, judging by the fact he's currently sans jacket and has the sleeves of his shirt pushed up to his elbows.]

[lesbeau]

[They're both gay chaos, it's just like that. One part of her knows he's kidding, but another always analytically questions what she's given, so Beau squints a moment before replying.]

Then I guess you're the messiest one here.

[She stops flexing in that way to put her hands on her hips and tense all her muscles so they look bigger. God, she is trying.]

If you're taking the time to roll 'em up, you might as well cut out the middleman. The sleeve. Middle. Sleeve man.