A call for help~

[piercetheheart]

Alright... it kinda goes against everything I know to do this but the Bunny god needs our help and I'm not going to sit around here and be useless.

[He sounds pissed of and upset but he's here and he's asking dammit.]

Anyone here have enough healing magic to patch up a puncture wound in someone's abdomen? Like a deep one?

And assuming I can get a hold of anyone we've got shit to clear out.

Hey, Tim! Lets find some shit for that restaurant.

Comments

[scourgingstars]

[Ardyn didn't answer at first, turning the concept over in his head for a minute.]

...The Shield of the Founder failed once before, terribly so. When he was needed most, when one whom he swore to protect was in greatest danger...the Blademaster was nowhere to be found. I've no way of knowing why, of course. But I wonder, perhaps, if he wished to prevent such basic human faults from causing history to repeat.

[piercetheheart]

Maybe...

He was supposed to protect you, wasn't he? No wonder he was afraid if that's the sort of shit you were doing. [He gestures to Ardyn's hip where the wound he'd taken from Gladio had been.]

Killing yourself for other people and what would the crown have done to you on top of that? Maybe he thought he was protecting you.

[scourgingstars]

He didn't...know. I didn't tell anyone. At--at least I don't think I did, I can't always remember that far back.

[Ardyn glanced away like he was trying to recall a long-forgotten memory, voice turning distant.]

...If anyone had known...it would have been a catastrophe. People were already afraid and struggling just to survive in the wake of the Astral War; I was all they had. The only reassurance that things would ever improve, the only sign of dawn after the darkest hour. If I had told anyone I wasn't truly curing the scourge...

[He shook his head, as if trying to pull himself out of his own thoughts.]

I don't...remember when it changed. I remember the Crystal rejecting me, choosing my brother instead. I know I was executed more times than I care to count, and I know Gilgamesh wasn't there.

I didn't--I didn't want this. I didn't ask to be an eternal monster, I just...wanted...to help people.

[piercetheheart]

[Oh he knows that look, the distance in Ardyn's expression as he speaks, the way he seemed to be reassuring himself that what he knew to be truth was the truth.]

Hey... hey. [Gladio shifts up onto his knees, moves a little closer so he can gently guide Ardyn's hand to Hresvelgr's head. Smooth feathers under his hand, a brief fumble in Gladio's pack and there's the smell of sand and fresh crushed herbs. Things that he hoped would counter what and where he thought he was.]

It's alright... Hey, come back, yeah?

[There's more to discuss there, surely there is, but it's not something he's about to try to continue on like a normal conversation when Ardyn's clearly on the verge of get lost in things better left in the past.]

You did help people. You just helped me, remember?

[scourgingstars]

Wh--what?

[His hand was as cold as a walking corpse, but if noting else Hresvelgr didn't seem to mind. She nuzzled up against his hand and nipped lightly at his sleeve to get Ardyn's attention, almost like she was used to this particular situation. It took a second, but Ardyn blinked unnaturally yellow eyes a few times and started to focus back on Gladio.]

I...right, yes. Are...you alright?

[piercetheheart]

[Good, good. He sat back on his heels again, sighing in relief when Ardyn starts tracking again.]

I'm fine, thanks to you. [And isn't that weird to say. But it's not as strange as this genuine feeling of worry and concern he felt for the other man. It was so much easier when things were just black and white.]

Do you still want to talk about Gilgamesh? [He doesn't want to leave things unfinished but he doesn't want to push either.]

[scourgingstars]

I just...wanted to know how he was. That's all. I'd heard the legends of the spirits in Taelpar, but I rather assumed none of them would be thrilled to see me if I went myself, Gilgamesh least of all.

[piercetheheart]

Maybe not... I think he might've been more willing than you'd imagine though.

[scourgingstars]

...Possibly. But with the way I am, it would never have gone well.

[piercetheheart]

... can't argue that.

[Even if he wants to right now, even if it might have made Ardyn feel better it would be a lie.]

Sorry.

[scourgingstars]

You don't have anything to apologize for. I'm the one still causing nothing but trouble for you even here.

[piercetheheart]

That's... not true. [Though the way his voice wavers says more to the truth of Ardyn's words than any protest he makes.]

[scourgingstars]

...You know you don't need to spare my feelings, right?

I know I'm only causing trouble for you. But I don't want to hurt him.

[piercetheheart]

I don't want to hurt anyone. [Grumbled and frustrated, his hands thread up into his hair with something that's nearly a growl.]

Even you... somehow. Weird as that is.

[scourgingstars]

Not much point to it, deserved as it might be.

[piercetheheart]

You're really good at pushing people into lashing out, y'know. Regardless of whether or not you deserve it.

Is that intentional?

[scourgingstars]

...Usually. Anger's one of the few things I really comprehend.

[piercetheheart]

[Gladio just blinks at him for a second, tumbling it over in his head, considering and then finally sighing. There's no way he can avoid how true that statement is to himself as well.]

I know the feeling... too well.

[scourgingstars]

It's...all I really have. Hatred and spite. I've not been able to feel much of anything else in far too long.

[piercetheheart]

Is it?

[He doubts that's all that's there. He's certainly had enough opportunities to realize just how much he hides behind his anger lately.]

Maybe... it's just easier. And safer...?

[scourgingstars]

You don't understand. It's literally all I have. What I am, the way I've been twisted-...daemons aren't designed to feel things like empathy or positive emotion.

When I stopped being human, when all of this took over...what it latched on to was the hatred of the Crystal and resentment towards my brother. It spread to a deep desire for vengeance, not ony on them but on everything. I barely even remember having been human in the first place--my hometown, my family, what I liked, anything I did...so much of it, gone. There's just fury in its place, and everything a target for it.

[piercetheheart]

Then why are we talking? I mean... if it's all that's there shouldn't this [a vague gesture between them] be impossible?

[scourgingstars]

Ask yourself if it ever would have been possible back home.

This place...keeps complicating it. I never understand what to make of it or how to respond, especially here of all places. This specific island, this desert...it's the only place where things finally quiet down and Ardyn Lucis Caelum can exist out in the open.

[piercetheheart]

No.

[Absolutely no hesitation.]

But doesn't it mean he's -you're- always there? You told me that yourself.

Why's it gotta be all or nothing?

cw: suicidal ideation

[scourgingstars]

Think of it like...being on a train moving at top speed, the engine is on fire, and the tracks lead straight off a cliff. Either you pull on the brakes knowing all it's going to do is slow down the inevitable just a little bit, or you give up and let it happen.

There's not always more than will corrupted by spite driving everything I do and say. Something that doesn't give a damn about anything or anyone, and just wants to go over that cliff and explode, taking everything down with it.

And then there are times like this, where I'm...call it 'lucid enough' to care what I've become and struggling to remember what it felt like to want that metaphorical train to stop all while knowing there's no way to prevent the inevitable.

It's 'all or nothing' because I'm not like any of you. I don't have the luxury of human morality every day of my life, and quite frankly the idea of sentiment after all this time is so incomprehensible as to be horrifying.