lifenet | A call for help~

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A call for help~

Alright... it kinda goes against everything I know to do this but the Bunny god needs our help and I'm not going to sit around here and be useless.

[He sounds pissed of and upset but he's here and he's asking dammit.]

Anyone here have enough healing magic to patch up a puncture wound in someone's abdomen? Like a deep one?

And assuming I can get a hold of anyone we've got shit to clear out.

Hey, Tim! Lets find some shit for that restaurant.

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...You know you don't need to spare my feelings, right?

I know I'm only causing trouble for you. But I don't want to hurt him.

I don't want to hurt anyone. [Grumbled and frustrated, his hands thread up into his hair with something that's nearly a growl.]

Even you... somehow. Weird as that is.

Not much point to it, deserved as it might be.

You're really good at pushing people into lashing out, y'know. Regardless of whether or not you deserve it.

Is that intentional?

...Usually. Anger's one of the few things I really comprehend.

[Gladio just blinks at him for a second, tumbling it over in his head, considering and then finally sighing. There's no way he can avoid how true that statement is to himself as well.]

I know the feeling... too well.

It's...all I really have. Hatred and spite. I've not been able to feel much of anything else in far too long.

Is it?

[He doubts that's all that's there. He's certainly had enough opportunities to realize just how much he hides behind his anger lately.]

Maybe... it's just easier. And safer...?

You don't understand. It's literally all I have. What I am, the way I've been twisted-...daemons aren't designed to feel things like empathy or positive emotion.

When I stopped being human, when all of this took over...what it latched on to was the hatred of the Crystal and resentment towards my brother. It spread to a deep desire for vengeance, not ony on them but on everything. I barely even remember having been human in the first place--my hometown, my family, what I liked, anything I did...so much of it, gone. There's just fury in its place, and everything a target for it.

Then why are we talking? I mean... if it's all that's there shouldn't this [a vague gesture between them] be impossible?

Ask yourself if it ever would have been possible back home.

This place...keeps complicating it. I never understand what to make of it or how to respond, especially here of all places. This specific island, this desert...it's the only place where things finally quiet down and Ardyn Lucis Caelum can exist out in the open.

No.

[Absolutely no hesitation.]

But doesn't it mean he's -you're- always there? You told me that yourself.

Why's it gotta be all or nothing?

Think of it like...being on a train moving at top speed, the engine is on fire, and the tracks lead straight off a cliff. Either you pull on the brakes knowing all it's going to do is slow down the inevitable just a little bit, or you give up and let it happen.

There's not always more than will corrupted by spite driving everything I do and say. Something that doesn't give a damn about anything or anyone, and just wants to go over that cliff and explode, taking everything down with it.

And then there are times like this, where I'm...call it 'lucid enough' to care what I've become and struggling to remember what it felt like to want that metaphorical train to stop all while knowing there's no way to prevent the inevitable.

It's 'all or nothing' because I'm not like any of you. I don't have the luxury of human morality every day of my life, and quite frankly the idea of sentiment after all this time is so incomprehensible as to be horrifying.

Runaway trains, fires, desolate underground labyrinths...

All your metaphors are fucking awful y'know that? [And Gladio flops back against the edge of the mana pool next to him, close enough to almost be touching.]

You make it sound all or nothing with em but then it's "not always" and "not every day" and if it's not a one hundred percent thing then it's not as black and white as you want us to believe.

Black and white thinking is... pretty much why I went to talk to you. And why I... freaked out so badly after we talked.

[A nudge with his shoulder, almost... playful?]

You're such a dick.

...I don't understand. I thought-...I was sure you would at least have the sense to hate me if no one else did for some insane reason.

I said this before but you won't remember. If I can't kill you there's gotta be another way to make sure you're not a danger.

Besides Iggy would kick my ass if I didn't at least try to play nice. And it's a helluva lot easier when you're like this. Maudlin little shit but still better than raging douchebag.

[He's teasing, Ardyn. C'mon give him something.]

...you're all utterly hopeless, you realize.

Yeah well... That's why you love him isn't it?

I am absolutely not having this conversation with you. By no stretch of the imagination am I remotely prepared or equipped to discuss sentiment and the expression or reasoning therein.

[And that makes Gladio laugh, grinning over at Ardyn, elbowing him a little.]

Fine stay here with your girl. I've got supplies to collect.

[He pats Ardyn's thigh and, now that he's not injured, rolls easily to his feet.]

...I hope 'supplies' is some new modern slang for 'pants'.

[Gladio freezes, startled for a moment. And then laughs more. He tugs his pants out of his knapsack.

He looks around, shrugs, and steps into his pants, pulling them up under the cloth and then unlacing it to stuff it back in his bag. There's a pretty significant hole in the front of his pants but nothing that's going to cause too many problems just yet.

Of course in all of that Ardyn's probably getting an eyeful of things he'd rather not see.]

Better?

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A call for help~

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cw: suicidal ideation

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