Chara Dreemurr..? (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
achievementhunter) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
lifenet2019-05-21 08:15 pm
achievementhunter) wrote in lifenet2019-05-21 08:15 pm
May 23rd || Oh God Kids Turn Your iStones Off
Content Warning: This post will contain discussions of death, physical harm, and self-hate from children. Other threads may also be tagged with their own warnings for self-harm, suicide, or abuse- these warnings will be communicated with thread participants prior to posting said content.
[It starts mid conversation, as an abrupt a beginning as the call itself. Even mid sentence, however, there’s amusement in the tone of the speaker, dry and caustic.]
...Think it’s quite funny, actually. Go ahead. Underestimate me.
You should try it, Partner. Adults are terribly gullible. You’re hardly responsible if they want to look like an ass.
[A pause. Then the reply comes; a different voice, equally young, but softer. Blunted at the edge by resignation and annoyance.]
Why? We just do whatever we want anyway. No matter what they say.
It’s funny, for one. [The other voice retorts, lightning fast.] Maybe you’ll even do something crazy, like…. smile.
I am smiling. Look.
[Another beat. It’s unclear whether the speaker is, in fact, smiling.]
...I can tell, [It’s unclear whether the speaker can, in fact, tell.] Besides, that’s hardly the worst thing adults do.
I know. [They let that hang for a moment, and then their tone shifts.] But it’s better sometimes. They don’t realize they’re in our way. So it’s easier to move them.
Unless they insist they aren’t going to be moved. [They mutter darkly.] You know who I mean, don’t you? The helpful ones.
[Their tone and pitch shifts into a high mockery of someone- or anyone at all.]
But I can help you, Chara! I know what you’re going through! Tell me about what happened to you, in intimate detail, so I may then pat my bum that I’ve taken care of you as best I can. Oh, Frisk dear, you just seem so quiet! I know that Chara must scare you badly- why would you ever let them stick around?
Stop.
[More forceful, this time, lined with hard disgust. There’s a shift in the audio, like nails scraping gently over metal.]
They’re all stupid. I don’t care if they think we’re useless. At least they won’t look at us that way.
What, you mean there’s no thousand year old magic barrier to break, this time? No future of humans and monsters? No angel? [Chara lets out a faux sigh of distress.] What a pity. And here I was, spiking your punch with bone hurting juice, just to ensure they had a head start on making our lives miserable.
I said I just did what I wanted. Breaking the barrier. And everything else, too. Even if monsters treated us differently, they still didn’t do anything.
[Frisk stops, and the scraping sound stops, too. Something else bleeds into their tone.]
Don’t worry. They won’t stop us.
They better not. [As Chara speaks, their voice begins to crackle. Heavier and heavier, until the words are indistinguishable from the white noise enveloping them.]
I’ve co❍͇͖̖̪͛͠❍̓ ⧫̗̜͚͗̋ͬͧ̈́o̼ͯ͗ͪ□͓̣̰̠̟̟̖͂͌̓ f̴̣ͯ̾̍̾͊ar just .|̓ͫͮ͆͏̗͡◆ die beca̤̝͔̪͖̓̊u͕̠̅͊̍̈́͛se so❍□■|̨̪̿ͅ|̨͎̜͇ ⬥■͇̮͆̿ͫ̕͞⧫̙̮̖̍ͣ̄̔͊͝⬧̙̪̫͇ͫ̇͐ͮ̍͞ ❍ ⧫! #̂͌̚̚-͎̯̙͎̃ ,̨͈̮̦̘̹̯ͨ͋ͥ͂͂̐ͅ❍͖͖̺̣ͤ̑͌́͞|͚͉̭͖ͦͪ\͍͈̲̌|͎̜̯͕ͫͫ̊̑́
[The feed cuts shortly after.]
no subject
That.
He's struck with the sudden, shameful urge to run. But he turns around, back towards their voice.]
I did not say anything about dust!
[Maybe - maybe it's a mistake, they misheard him calling for them, something like that. He knows it's a vain hope even as he fumbles for it, but the other option is simply unacceptable. They were never meant to know about what he did. Even if sometimes he wasn't certain that his death would grieve them, it still wasn't something to place on their shoulders. He didn't want to cause any more damage, that was the whole...
That was the whole point...
(On the stones, the conversation continues:
Oh...I think you are right.)]
1/3
But someone speaks.]
I've been researching humans to see if I can find any info about their SOULS.[She says. Her voice, whilst trembling, holds a professional cant to it, foregoing the usual stammer for the scratch of a pen and the faint beeping of nearby machinery. And in the background, the faint sounds of-- children. Talking.It's impossible to make out what they're saying.]
I ended up snooping around the castle... And found these weird tapes. I don't feel like ASGORE's watched them...[She hesitates- and it feels like the entire islet is, too. Perhaps that's just their blood, thumping so loudly in their veins that they can't hear the waves, anymore. The birds. The wind.]I don't think he should.no subject
Done
no subject
And how Chara is acting like they understand it all.]
I - heard a little, of you speaking with Frisk. It did not seem like you meant it to be heard, so I stepped away. But then - were you not calling for me?
[He frowns down at them. They'd sounded more frightened than he's ever known them to be, even in those first days when they were still injured and surrounded by strange monsters. Even on their deathbed.]
That is why I came to find you. You...you asked if something was your fault. Whatever you meant, I'm sure it was not.
[He doesn't know what they were talking about, but he has some guesses. None of it was.]
no subject
He's perturbed, yes. But not devastated.
Worse damage could've been done.]
I wasn't. Not until I heard you speak. [The things he was saying- the voices that responded. They have to assume-]
The conversations you were having; I don't believe they were recent, or of this world.
You spoke of having died, among other things. [Stated as a fact, without a hint of the hysteria that Chara's voice had held on the Stone at that particular revelation. If anything, Chara may as well have said the weather was good- just something that's a norm in their life.]
Howdy, Chara! [Asriel chirps from one of the stones in their hands. They aren't even sure which one.] Smile for the camera!
no subject
(He remembers how much Asriel loved that camera. Of course he could never bear to watch the tapes. But Alphys never knew his children, so what did she see that made her - is that why she'd been avoiding him?)]
I see. I suppose we were overdue for something to happen.
[It's not an eruption or an attack this time, but it's dangerous still. It'd be one thing if he had come directly from the Underground. All he'd need to hide was the last few minutes of his life. If his crimes are exposed to everyone here - well, whatever his feelings, it's no more than he deserves. But in Beacon, he spoke far more freely than he ever dared before or since. He gave them his confidence. He did talk about his guilt, his regrets, his death. Things the others from the Underground should not have to hear.
Maybe there's some way to mitigate this, destroy his stone or stop it broadcasting, but his priority at this moment is standing right in front of him. Chara doesn't seem upset anymore by what they heard. That's...fine. It's good! It's for the best. It would be, if he could fully believe in it.
But he heard them screaming only moments ago. And he can't let go of whatever "the point" was. Loathe as he always is to push them, he can't just let it pass.]
Chara, is...are you alright?
[Who are you painting? someone asks quietly, and Asgore responds:
Their name is Chara.]
no subject
Coming to this island was an experience of having control ripped from them, over and over again. They didn’t have it when they arrived.
They don’t have it now.]
I- [A shambling start, voice brittle. Their hands, shaking, clench around the stones, muffling the conversations still issuing from them. Turn off the camera? Asriel questions. Okay...]
I have something to tell you. Before you learn it from- other sources.
[Before what he learns is....out of their control.]
no subject
Of course.
[He glances around quickly. They're distant from both his home and theirs. There's no comfort or semblance of privacy to be gained here, out on the path near the bridge where anyone might pass by. He'd like to invite them home for a cup of tea, but even he can tell that this is no time for pleasantries. The stones are not stopping; anyone who wants to speak something on their own terms should do it now.
Still, he doesn't like to see them so brittle. And their back is towards the bridge, where someone might approach.]
Over here, perhaps. [He steps just a few paces off the path, into something of a clearing. Someone who passed by could still see them, he supposes, but at least they might be able to speak quietly and not be quite so public. Anyway, there's a rock here that's of a decent height for him to sit on, so that at least he isn't towering over them.]
no subject
So why does it feel like they’d rather jump in the ocean than open their mouth?]
Do you- [A croak. Chara stops, inhaling sharply, and tries again. Looks at the ground, rather than staring him in the eyes.] Do you remember when Asriel and I baked you that pie?
We used buttercups instead of butter.
no subject
[Of course he does. For a long time, it was the nearest he had come to death.
His memory of the illness itself is hazy in parts. He knows he tried not to let on to the children just how bad he felt, when they were in the room, and he knows it was mostly a vain effort. But he hadn't wanted them to feel bad over what was ultimately just a childish mistake. If anything, he made a mistake in eating it. A butterscotch pie without butter - of course it hadn't looked or tasted right. But Asgore wanted to encourage them. He had no way of knowing it wasn't just an ordinary baking mishap.
This obviously is not about the pie, or not just about the pie. But he still adds:]
It was just a mistake. Anybody might have done it. [Well, anyone at that age.]