a totally urgent broadcast not brought to you by a dumb robot

[tomodachi]

[Like any good pirate, Crow always likes to check what treasures he's collected so far. His collection of rocks, a whistle and hammer he found in his bag when he first arrived here, some box with the words "first aid" on it and... oh, hello. Here's something that he had in the bottom of the bag here, a strange charm of some kind. Normally he just sort of swings it a little back and forth here, but for the first time, he notices words that are actually printed on it here.]

"Speak my words, that lawful phrase... And I will feed you, for all your days"? The heck does that mean...?

[He doesn't get a lot of time to ponder this though because it's starting to get uncomfortable to hold in his hand--despite not being able to feel pain, he can still sort of tell when something is not right temperature wise sometimes, and this is enough that he ends up throwing it in alarm at a nearby tree...

... which then begins to change to turn into chocolate when the charm comes in contact with it before falling back onto the ground harmlessly. Um.]

What the heck just happened!?

[It takes a moment, but eventually Crow approaches the tree warily to poke at, coming away with a slight chocolate stain on his glove here. There can only be one conclusion to make, and thus, he leaves the following message on the iStone for all to see--]



I THREW SOMETHING AT A TREE AND NOW THE TREE IS MELTING WHAT DO I DO



[Alternatively, you can come and see the tree now made of chocolate and maybe break off a piece to eat for yourself?? Probably sooner than later seeing as it is the month of June and chocolate is probably going to melt in summer heat, though it is currently holding strong for the time being.]

Comments

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[catpiper]

[Crow needs supervision. That's the takeaway here and Ren's not even 1% sure on what to do about a melting tree. It's just like?? Melting?? What the heck did he do.]

Did you throw fire at it?

[She doesn't see any kind of bonfire, but you know. The island's weird. Maybe the tree absorbed the flames and now it's burning from the inside out?]

[tomodachi]

No--it was this necklace thing I've had in my bag, but it suddenly started acting weird, and next thing I knew, this happened.

[Indicating the chocolate tree with an annoyed gesture here.]

[catpiper]

[Well, she doesn't like the mysterious series of events that led up to this moment and can think of only one logical path to take-]

We should run away.

[tomodachi]

... You really think it's that dangerous?

[It is just a tree... that happens to be melting brown stuff, yes, but...]

[catpiper]

[She looks to the freaking melting tree and says-]

I don't know, but it's scary.

[tomodachi]

Hah, I ain't scared of anything! In fact, I'll show this tree I'm more than tough enough to handle it.

[... Maybe stop your stupid robot friend before he attempts to touch (or even punch) the tree, from the look of things here.]

[catpiper]

[Oh my GOD where is SETO she can't even with this guy!!

She reaches out to grab his arm so fast if he doesn't move away-where's your supervisor? She wants to lodge a complaint.]

Wait!

[tomodachi]

[Arm grab successful! To Crow's displeasure that is.]

Why? It's not like we've got any other better ideas.

[tokenflavortownie]

It's... melting? I-Is it on fire?

[Sir? do you need to be moved from the tree????]

[tomodachi]

No, it's just... this brown stuff that's coming off onto my gloves here? It's really weird.

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[counterblows]

[So Wash does general patrols of the area. It's routine at this point, just like it was on Chorus. Just like it was on their little slice of universe, far removed from the rest, until he could break that instinct to remain forever on guard beneath the combined pressure of the Reds and Blues' collective idiocy and the simple lack of any genuine need for that sort of thing.]

[He's reinstated that instinct now, which is what has him drawing even with the tree that radiates the unmistakable scent of...cocoa.]

[And hell if he can remember the last time he had chocolate. Wash steps closer, rifle half-pointed at the thing, as though it might be some sort of trick, before he runs the tip of one finger, gloved in Kevlar composite, down the trunk. Rubs at the flakes of chocolate that cling to his fingertips, visored head tilting to one side.]

...huh.

[tomodachi]

Hey! Do you know what's going on here with that weird tree?

[The question comes from Crow here, from where he had been watching (and totally not hiding) behind another tree.]

[counterblows]

[By instinct, the rifle jams up to brace against Wash's shoulder as he scans his surroundings in case the unknown turns out to be hostile. When he registers that the owner of the voice is on the smaller side - can't be much larger than a kid - the weapon quickly lowers.]

[Still, it might come as a shock.]

Are...most trees here made of chocolate, for some reason?

[tomodachi]

[Crow doesn't flinch at the raised weapon, but he does give Wash a look here.]

What is that?

[... Is he asking about the gun, or what chocolate is... or both.......]

[counterblows]

Chocolate?

[That's a less uncommon question than one might think. Marines on the front lines would gamble for contraband sweets, and in the intergalactic hodgepodge of soldiers cribbed from Earth's colonies all over multiple systems, sometimes you learn that what's basic in some lower-class Earther slums isn't necessarily as such in others.]

It's a type of candy. It just...usually doesn't come on trees.

[tomodachi]

[Okay, well that's one question that's been answered here.]

So it's... something that people can eat?

[counterblows]

[Well, they're certainly not about to snort it.]

[But he doesn't say that, because he's not Agent fucking South Dakota, and he can actually talk to children.]

Yeah. But like I said, entire trees made of it? That's new.

[tomodachi]

... Huh. That's super weird.

[He's never needed to eat before, and even he knows that this isn't normal.]

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[buryyourfriends]

[What in the fresh heck Crow. Seto knows his best friend is amazing but this is new.]

How did you do that?!

[He's caught between 'this is super cool' and 'this is super weird' okay.]

[tomodachi]

I don't know, it just happened??

[It's not like he did this on purpose, Seto!]

[buryyourfriends]

[Look Seto's guilty of the 'poke it with a stick and see what happens' strategy too but this hasn't happened before!]

It's weird...I wonder what it feels like.

[...he's gonna touch it.]

[tomodachi]

[GUESS WHO IS REACHING OUT TO GRAB YOUR HAND BEFORE YOU CAN TOUCH THE TREE]

Hey, don't just go touching things like that. Here, use this.

[... Crow is now handing you a stick to poke the tree with instead. Much safer, buddy.]

[buryyourfriends]

[That's a much better option!]

Ah, thanks Crow.

[Time to put the 'poke it with a stick' strategy into effect. Seto pokes the chocolate tree and the stick sinks in a little bit due to the heat melting the tree.

Doesn't look like it's going to try and eat them...!]

It's kind of sticky...

[tomodachi]

What do you think is causing that?

[Also what is this stuff melting from the tree anyway.]

[buryyourfriends]

[Seto's got nothing for the whole melting thing, beyond poking the tree with the stick a little harder. Pro scientist here folks.

But also...!]

Didn't you throw something at it?