a totally urgent broadcast not brought to you by a dumb robot

[tomodachi]

[Like any good pirate, Crow always likes to check what treasures he's collected so far. His collection of rocks, a whistle and hammer he found in his bag when he first arrived here, some box with the words "first aid" on it and... oh, hello. Here's something that he had in the bottom of the bag here, a strange charm of some kind. Normally he just sort of swings it a little back and forth here, but for the first time, he notices words that are actually printed on it here.]

"Speak my words, that lawful phrase... And I will feed you, for all your days"? The heck does that mean...?

[He doesn't get a lot of time to ponder this though because it's starting to get uncomfortable to hold in his hand--despite not being able to feel pain, he can still sort of tell when something is not right temperature wise sometimes, and this is enough that he ends up throwing it in alarm at a nearby tree...

... which then begins to change to turn into chocolate when the charm comes in contact with it before falling back onto the ground harmlessly. Um.]

What the heck just happened!?

[It takes a moment, but eventually Crow approaches the tree warily to poke at, coming away with a slight chocolate stain on his glove here. There can only be one conclusion to make, and thus, he leaves the following message on the iStone for all to see--]



I THREW SOMETHING AT A TREE AND NOW THE TREE IS MELTING WHAT DO I DO



[Alternatively, you can come and see the tree now made of chocolate and maybe break off a piece to eat for yourself?? Probably sooner than later seeing as it is the month of June and chocolate is probably going to melt in summer heat, though it is currently holding strong for the time being.]

Comments

[counterblows]

I said what else, not stuff you've already told me. Is there anyone...else I can talk to about this?

[Are there any grown-ups, he means to say.]

[tomodachi]

Do you see anyone else around here?

[no one can help you here wash]

[counterblows]

Is there anyone more helpful around? [he clarifies, perhaps impolitely. He's not terribly predisposed to care.]

[tomodachi]

Hey!! I am being plenty helpful, you're just a moron for not getting it!!

[counterblows]

I got all your facts just fine. You just don't have enough of them, so I'm looking for someone who would.

[Why kids. Why. He's not good with kids, and he's learning that this holds true all too well.]

[tomodachi]

Well guess what, there isn't anyone else here, so you're just gonna have to deal with it.

[counterblows]

[In that case:]

I guess that means that if anything else goes wrong along these lines, we all get to blame you for it.

[tomodachi]

What!? But I didn't even do anything wrong, you--you stupid jerk!!

[counterblows]

[That always works. People will do anything to escape blame.]

I don't see anyone else turning trees into chocolate. Do you?