(no subject)

[proficienciesouttheass]

HEY ALL!

IF YOU SEE A DOG THAT LOOKS LIKE THIS

HIS NAME IS JOHANN

HE'S TRAINED AND WON'T HURT ANYONE

FEEL FREE TO PET HIM. BUT DON'T FEED HIM TABLE SCRAPS PLEASE.

HE LIKES TO PLAY FETCH AND TO HAVE HIS EARS SCRATCHED.

REMEMBER TO TELL HIM HE'S A GOOD BOY.

LOVE, MAGNUS AND JOHANN

PS: DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?

Comments

[proficienciesouttheass]

OH
BUT JOHANN'S A PRETTY NORMAL DOG
THAT'S HOW SCOTTISH DEERHOUNDS LOOK
WHY DO YOU THINK HE LOOKS WEIRD? THERE'S A LOT OF DIFFERENT KINDS OF BREEDS!

[flyfisher]

WHAT DO YOU THINK A DOG IS???
A DOG IS JUST A TYPE OF PERSON HE SHOULD LOOK LIKE A PERSON

[proficienciesouttheass]

WHAT
I DONT THINK WE'RE TALKING ABOUT THE SAME THING!

[flyfisher]

OK SO WHAT IS A DOG AND WHAT DO YOU DO WITH IT
EAT IT?

[proficienciesouttheass]

NO!!!!
THEY'RE FRIENDS AND FAMILY AND YOU TAKE CARE OF THEM AND LOVE THEM AND THEY LOVE YOU BACK AND SOMETIMES EVEN PROTECT YOU AND HELP YOU HUNT AND FIGHT AND STUFF
DON'T EAT DOGS!!!

[flyfisher]

SO THEY ARE CUDDLY WEAPONS
MAKES SENSE

[proficienciesouttheass]

I MEAN, SOMETIMES! I GUESS
BUT THEY'RE MOSTLY FRIENDS!
I RAISED JOHANN SINCE HE WAS A PUPPY

[flyfisher]

ARE YOU ALSO A DOG OR DID YOU STEAL HIM FROM HIS PARENTS

[proficienciesouttheass]

I MEAN I GOT HIM FROM PEOPLE WHO BREED THEM
AND THATS PRETTY NORMAL!
HE VISITS HIS PARENTS AND BROTHER A LOT THOUGH!
AND I LOVE HIM A LOT

[flyfisher]

BREED??????? THEM??????????????

[sorry you've just completely lost myia's suspension of disbelief, this is too wild for her to begin to understand.]

[proficienciesouttheass]

[ Oh jesus, how does he explain it without it sounding real fucked up?]

YEAH!
SOME PEOPLE GET SOME BOY DOGS AND GIRL DOGS AND MAKE SURE THEY'RE HEALTHY AND COMPATIBLE AND, YOU KNOW, THEY MAKE PUPPIES
THERE'S SOME SLEAZY ASSHOLES WHO ARE JUST IN IT FOR THE MONEY AND DON'T MAKE SURE THEY HAVE THE RIGHT DOGS AND THEY DON'T HAVE LIKE DISEASES AND STUFF. THOSE ONES SUCK AND SHOULDN'T HAVE ANIMALS IN THE FIRST PLACE!

BUT GOOD PEOPLE AND EXPERTS MAKE SURE THEY'RE ALL CARED FOR AND THE PUPPIES GO TO GOOD HOMES AND STUFF LIKE THAT.

[flyfisher]

ALL OF THIS SOUNDS LIKE TRAFFICKING AND/OR SLAVERY

[proficienciesouttheass]

NO!! IT'S TOTALLY DIFFERENT!!!

[flyfisher]

DOESN'T SOUND DIFFERENT
DO YOU DO THIS?? WITH YOUR JOHANN FRIEND??

[proficienciesouttheass]

JOHANN'S HAPPY, OKAY?! HE'S FAMILY AND I MAKE SURE HE'S NEVER MISSING ANYTHING, AND HE'S A REALLY GOOD BOY.
I SWEAR IT'S NOT AS FUCKED UP AS IT SOUNDS. THEY DON'T REALLY KNOW THE DIFFERENCE, BUT THEY KNOW WHEN THEY'RE LOVED! AND ANYONE THAT DOESN'T LOVE A DOG IS A MONSTER!!