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iStones, april 6
[You know those pressing, intense questions that keep you up in the middle of the night? Well, this is one such moment and anyone unfortunate enough to be awake, or awakened, during these early morning hours will be hit with an extremely important q from a confused girl.]
What's a joke?
[And, a few seconds later-]
How do you 'prank' someone? Is that a treasure?
What's a joke?
[And, a few seconds later-]
How do you 'prank' someone? Is that a treasure?
no subject
[He scowls at the dim light illuminating the space he's in, unable to keep the brief moment of frustration from his voice. It's not her fault, he knows this, but it's frustrating that she's lived up to this point not questioning things around her. Not asking why, and not being educated by those with more worldly experience and more intelligence and wisdom than her. It's baffling to Guzma that there are enough adults, enough people here, and not a damn one has even made the attempt to try and teach this kid anything.]
Let me tell you something, kid. Something you ain't gonna like, but something you need to hear.
People lie.
Good people, nice people, people that don't seem scary...they're the ones that are sometimes the scariest. Because they know how to lie. They know how to get on y'all's good side...say exactly what you wanna hear, know how to tell your heart it's not scary, and honey their words just right, so you're stuck believing everything they say without asking why. Why should I listen to you? Why should I trust you? Why is that important? Isn't that dangerous? Isn't that going to hurt someone? Isn't that going to hurt me?
[He closes his eyes, brows knitting into a tight knot as his teeth grind behind pursed lips, as a matronly face comes to mind. Sweet, kinda, accepting, smart, strong. The face of a liar.]
You're a good kid, Ren, but people take advantage of that real easy. So you gotta start thinking a lot more. You gotta start asking questions. Here, especially, when any second one'a your friends can become someone diff'rent...and y'all won't even know it. It's scary, isn't it? If I suddenly asked you to swim out into the ocean? You'd be scared, right? Even if it was me, that's scary for you. Even if I held your hand, and led you out as far as possible, it'd still be scary.
no subject
Every word out of his mouth is one she holds onto, clutching her rock like she's grasping his hands because he can't know, but he's talking like he knows.
If she had asked why, back then, it wouldn't have mattered. Wouldn't have changed anything. She should have run away-should have accepted her fate and not dragged Seto into it.
But if she had asked why-if it ever once occurred to her that she could ask why, while she got poked and prodded for an experiment doomed to fail from the start-
If she had asked Shin why, when he told her to get into the machine anyway-
Would something have changed, if she had ever asked why?
Probably not. It definitely wouldn't have. His heart was too corrupt to listen to her brand of reasoning. He was never able to hear her and she could only feel the true depth of this thoughts at the very end. But-
She never thought to ask and now that he's saying it out loud-calling her out on something she never saw as a problem.
She doesn't know what to say and it may not be clear from her silence that she's trying to understand what he's saying, but she is. She's listening. Every word that comes through the stone is felt and she-]
It would be scary. I know you wouldn't let go and it wouldn't hurt, but-
[If it wasn't him and she blindly took his hand, like she would do, walking out to the sea-]
How do I know if someone's lying? I can't feel everyone's heart here-I don't know-
[But he said it, didn't he? Ask questions? That makes her pause again, as it comes back to her. She can't rely on a power that doesn't work on everyone and maybe that's why.]
That's when I ask that kind of thing, right? When I think 'I don't know?'
no subject
[Until you're drawn into a portal, encased in writhing tentacles that sear white hot with poison, made to relive the worst, most terrifying feeling of desperation and horror like a sand dial turned over, and over, and over again... Until a black hole starts pulling you apart while crushing you flat at the same time.
Crack. The fire pops loudly again, and Guzma exhales, pulling back the pot of boiling water enough to let it slow to a simmer.]
Asking questions helps, yeah...but the best questions are the ones you ask yourself, kiddo. Y'all keep talking 'bout how you can feel people's heart n' all that, right? Have you ever tried feeling what's in your heart before? Y'can't keep depending on others to have all'a the answers, Ren. You gotta ask questions, you have to decide what you wanna believe, and you have to make the choice to follow what in your heart, not no one else's.
Saying no is always an option, girly.
no subject
[Saying no is always an option-
He says that so casually, so suddenly, so blase, like it's an obvious answer she glazed over, when the reality is it never was an answer-No was never an option. It's never been an option.
And it's weird, how he's just talking and-
He doesn't know that her heart isn't something to follow. Doesn't get the bad choices she made out of fear or understand the difficulty in relying on herself to make important decisions that aren't flight responses because-
Her fingers tighten around the rock and she turns away from camp, lowering her voice to a whisper so they won't hear her. Although she's sure they're not listening-she's too far away and it's too late in the night.
But even as she opens her mouth, something trembles and she stops after 'Something' because if she says this, it won't change anything. He's probably going to be mad-he's already on a fine line that she's tread across too many times to not learn her lesson.
Her heart is bad is what she wants to say. She doesn't know how to make it better, is the question she wants an answer to. She doesn't try to feel her own heart because when she did, it made her run run run to the wrong places and hide hide hide from the wrong people. She didn't say no when they ran the tests, when they were going to go through with glass cage, when she knew Seto was trying to find her and all she had to do was say no even though no would've killed her sooner than her disease would. Her heart never once thought no in a meaningful way-it never came out of her mouth, no matter how many times she thought no, no, no during the tests, the painful experiments, the-
She can't stay silent and the small confession tumbles out quietly all the same. Slowly. Softly. As if the tone will keep it from lighting the match she knows is close to being lit. But his words did reach her, in a way she didn't expect, at a time she didn't think and-]
My heart isn't very good, but I'll try to make it better, so I can say 'no' too.
no subject
You can't be good without being bad first, and making mistakes, and acknowledging that what y'all did was a mistake t'begin with. If everyone was good, then no one would change, no one would be better than what they are. They wouldn't have a reason to do anything else'n what they're already doing, even if it might be wrong.
[He sighs, the clink of metal scraping against metal as he mixes his cocoa into the pan and just...fucking drinks from the pot. It's early and he just doesn't have a single fuck to spare right now.]
Bottom line is y'all have to try, yeah. [There's a soft slurping sound on the other line and a long exhale.] ...Sorry. For going off on you, sweetheart.
no subject
It's not so bad.
That maybe her heart isn't terrible, if she can acknowledge what she did was bad. That it might be okay to say that was bad and make sure it doesn't happen again, but-
That's probably a thought for another day. Her ears perk at the sound of him drinking and the apology. Which is weird-he's never apologized to her before, not that it's ever necessary to do so. There's nothing worth apologizing for.]
You don't have to say 'sorry.' It's okay.
[But even with all this unforeseen help and comforting pep talk, she still doesn't entirely understand jokes. Maybe-
She can make him laugh, by reciting a joke she was told earlier and figure out this arcane secret once and for all.]
What's the first a wizard does in the morning?
no subject
Yes I do have to say sorry, and no it's not okay. I don't got no right t'yell at'cha because I'm mad at something y'all got no power over. But whatever...tell me the joke.
What does a wizard do first thing in the morning?
no subject
She does pause. Thinks about saying thank you, but that doesn't sound right either.
That's a problem for another day, maybe. She's not used to people apologizing to her and even less accustomed to
reacting to it.]
They wake up.
no subject
The silence lingers, and he raises his brow, then the punchline comes up and there's a brief snort. Oh, that...that was awful. But it got a short and brief chuckle out of him for how bad it was. So, clearly, he has to join in. Those are the rules of a terrible, punny joke off. He didn't make them, but he is a law abiding citizen (no, he's not).]
Nice. I got one, too. Where do Mimikyu buy their milk and eggs?
no subject
Spicy Treasures?
[Or]
Denny?
[Do people even buy things anymore?? She's pretty sure it doesn't work like that at either place, but you know.]
no subject
But! Punchline. Guzma's not really thinking about the fact Ren probably doesn't know what a Mimikyu is, a bit too caught up in his own stupid joke. These sort of childish Pokemon puns were a delight with the, uhh...less intelligent of his grunts, or the ones that were easily amused.]
The ghost-ery store. [IT'S SO DUMB. IT'S SO FUCKING DUMB, BUT HE CAN'T HELP THE GRIN ON HIS FACE.]