iStones, april 6

[catpiper]

[You know those pressing, intense questions that keep you up in the middle of the night? Well, this is one such moment and anyone unfortunate enough to be awake, or awakened, during these early morning hours will be hit with an extremely important q from a confused girl.]

What's a joke?

[And, a few seconds later-]

How do you 'prank' someone? Is that a treasure? 

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[catpiper]

No?

[Saying no is always an option-

He says that so casually, so suddenly, so blase, like it's an obvious answer she glazed over, when the reality is it never was an answer-No was never an option. It's never been an option.

And it's weird, how he's just talking and-

He doesn't know that her heart isn't something to follow. Doesn't get the bad choices she made out of fear or understand the difficulty in relying on herself to make important decisions that aren't flight responses because-

Her fingers tighten around the rock and she turns away from camp, lowering her voice to a whisper so they won't hear her. Although she's sure they're not listening-she's too far away and it's too late in the night.

But even as she opens her mouth, something trembles and she stops after 'Something' because if she says this, it won't change anything. He's probably going to be mad-he's already on a fine line that she's tread across too many times to not learn her lesson.

Her heart is bad is what she wants to say. She doesn't know how to make it better, is the question she wants an answer to. She doesn't try to feel her own heart because when she did, it made her run run run to the wrong places and hide hide hide from the wrong people. She didn't say no when they ran the tests, when they were going to go through with glass cage, when she knew Seto was trying to find her and all she had to do was say no even though no would've killed her sooner than her disease would. Her heart never once thought no in a meaningful way-it never came out of her mouth, no matter how many times she thought no, no, no during the tests, the painful experiments, the-

She can't stay silent and the small confession tumbles out quietly all the same. Slowly. Softly. As if the tone will keep it from lighting the match she knows is close to being lit. But his words did reach her, in a way she didn't expect, at a time she didn't think and-]

My heart isn't very good, but I'll try to make it better, so I can say 'no' too.

[yallstupid]

Yeah well, here's a hot take - no one's heart is very good. No one's. And I don't mean that to be a jerk, it's the dang truth that none'a your friends and family wanna talk to you about, even though they should. People have good in their hearts, 'course they do, but that doesn't mean there ain't bad parts, neither.

You can't be good without being bad first, and making mistakes, and acknowledging that what y'all did was a mistake t'begin with. If everyone was good, then no one would change, no one would be better than what they are. They wouldn't have a reason to do anything else'n what they're already doing, even if it might be wrong.

[He sighs, the clink of metal scraping against metal as he mixes his cocoa into the pan and just...fucking drinks from the pot. It's early and he just doesn't have a single fuck to spare right now.]

Bottom line is y'all have to try, yeah. [There's a soft slurping sound on the other line and a long exhale.] ...Sorry. For going off on you, sweetheart.

[catpiper]

[The way his words comfort her is likely unintentional, but it's the first time she's heard someone in such a way that makes her think-

It's not so bad.

That maybe her heart isn't terrible, if she can acknowledge what she did was bad. That it might be okay to say that was bad and make sure it doesn't happen again, but-

That's probably a thought for another day. Her ears perk at the sound of him drinking and the apology. Which is weird-he's never apologized to her before, not that it's ever necessary to do so. There's nothing worth apologizing for.]

You don't have to say 'sorry.' It's okay.

[But even with all this unforeseen help and comforting pep talk, she still doesn't entirely understand jokes. Maybe-

She can make him laugh, by reciting a joke she was told earlier and figure out this arcane secret once and for all.]

What's the first a wizard does in the morning?

[yallstupid]

[It's always necessary to apologize for wrongdoing. Guzma knows he comes on strong, and that his temper gets the better of him, he's fully aware of the consequences when he really snaps, and that the things he says and does can break or burn his relationships. He's seen it happen countless times in the past. It's just...now he actually cares about those consequences. It's half why he very quickly says--]

Yes I do have to say sorry, and no it's not okay. I don't got no right t'yell at'cha because I'm mad at something y'all got no power over. But whatever...tell me the joke.

What does a wizard do first thing in the morning?

[catpiper]

[The explanation is weird because she's not really worth apologizing too. She's not the type to hold a grudge or get angry anyway, but it doesn't feel right to brush off something that sounds like it was hard for him to do. The lecture's over and done with, in her mind, so-

She does pause. Thinks about saying thank you, but that doesn't sound right either.

That's a problem for another day, maybe. She's not used to people apologizing to her and even less accustomed to
reacting to it.]

They wake up.

[yallstupid]

[Apologizing is difficult, yes, but it needs to be done, it needs to be said. Acknowledging your mistakes, accepting they were made, and working to be better...saying sorry is the first step. He's not a good person, Guzma knows that, but he'd like to get better. Little by little.

The silence lingers, and he raises his brow, then the punchline comes up and there's a brief snort. Oh, that...that was awful. But it got a short and brief chuckle out of him for how bad it was. So, clearly, he has to join in. Those are the rules of a terrible, punny joke off. He didn't make them, but he is a law abiding citizen (no, he's not).]

Nice. I got one, too. Where do Mimikyu buy their milk and eggs?

[catpiper]

[The snort, brief as it was, puts her at ease after the tense conversation. A Mimikyu is?? Probably a pokemon?? Do they buy things?? Is this a trick question? She rolls back onto her stomach and tries to think of what this joke answer could be.]

Spicy Treasures?

[Or]

Denny?

[Do people even buy things anymore?? She's pretty sure it doesn't work like that at either place, but you know.]

[yallstupid]

[Oh my god, child, you are so absolutely dumb it's kind of cute sometimes. One day you'll be smart though, god help him if he can't put at least some worldly knowledge into your head before he leaves or dies.

But! Punchline. Guzma's not really thinking about the fact Ren probably doesn't know what a Mimikyu is, a bit too caught up in his own stupid joke. These sort of childish Pokemon puns were a delight with the, uhh...less intelligent of his grunts, or the ones that were easily amused.]

The ghost-ery store. [IT'S SO DUMB. IT'S SO FUCKING DUMB, BUT HE CAN'T HELP THE GRIN ON HIS FACE.]