stones of farspeech

[thegoofball]

Hey there, islands. Happy new year and all that, if that even matters. I mean, the holidays don't seem to matter here but there's a calendar so...?

[There's a pause, and Lance clears his throat.]

Anyways, this isn't about that! Recently I put in a request with the good ol' Storyteller because I was reminded of something from back home and thought, with all the crazy things that happen here, something that's a little more chill and lowkey might be good?

It's this, uh, game? Called Monsters & Mana. It's a little hard to explain and it's super nerdy, but it's pretty fun! You roll dice and pretend to be a character and go on an adventure the Lore Master puts together for you.

I've got a lot of books for it and everything we'd need to play it, but I don't want to just keep it to myself? So if anyone wants to take a look at it or play it just hit me up!

See ya!

[If the emojis were Free, there would be a sparkle and a heart emoji. Unfortunately, they're not.]

Comments

[thegoofball]

Y'know, Keith? Kind of emo, been here a while, really awful mullet? Keith?

[It's not surprising that Guzma doesn't know Keith - his leader isn't exactly a social butterfly.]

Pokemon sound pretty alien to the creatures we had back on Earth, but...Earth animals were just as weird to aliens, so. [He shrugs.] Kind of sucks we don't have anything convenient to put Kosmo in. He's so big.

[yallstupid]

[Guzma shrugs lazily, not really caring either way if he knows this mysterious man named 'Keith' or not. If he was important, Guzma would have remembered his face and name - that's just how it is for a guy like him. If there ever was a time they met, the poor guy didn't make enough of an impact on Guzma to be remembered.

But he doesn't dwell on it. People here come and go like leaves in the wind, and he knows that...a little too well. Guzma's here to focus on the here and the now, and the conversation at hand.]

Heh, believe me, it's a task tryin'a explain to all you numskulls what a Pokemon even is...they just like any other animal, but got powers what make 'em unique, I guess. [He shrugs again.] But having a Pokeball to keep 'em contained is definitely nice. There'd be no way I'd fit Golisopod into that tiny hut me n' Lillie live in. Big guy's even larger than I am.

[And Guzma stand a whopping 6'3". He's a giant. Golisopod is only a few inches taller. Four, to be exact, though he's wider and has more bulk.] BUt it was developed by scientists to convert a Pokemon's, like....shape? Atomic...thing--tch, I dunno, it's a bunch'a nerd vomit, but basically it converts their forms into data and compresses it down to a smaller size, enough to fit inside one'a these comfortably.

[thegoofball]

What's a Golisopod?

[Does it...have pods??

He raises an eyebrow at the explanation of the balls, if you could call it that. He doesn't get, is pretty sure he'd never get it, but he knows if Pidge or Hunk were here they'd love to get their hands on one and figure out the technology.

He misses them.]

And that still works here? That seems more amazing than anything else.

1/2

[yallstupid]

[What's a Golisopod?

What's a Golisopod?

Oh...oh, honey. Guzma was hoping you'd ask. The sinister grin that slithers its way onto his face is telling, and he clicks the button on the center of the Pokeball without a word, though a tiny heh might make its way from between his teeth.]

2/2

[yallstupid]

[The top part of the ball snaps open when the release is triggered, and a beam of red light shoots out from it, growing and shifting until is forms a shape. A large shape. As the light fades, a massive - and honestly quite intimidating looking - insectoid appears with a resounding thud on the sand. It utters a loud bellow, almost like an angry gator, and flexes its thicker arms, twitching those dark claws before blinking several times and beginning to groom its antennae.]

This is a Golisopod. My Golisopod to be precise. [Guzma smacks the big bug fondly on the side of its hard shell.] Nice entrance, my guy.

[Golisopod grumbles, letting out a long exhale before yawning. +n+ What did you wake me for?]

[thegoofball]

[Lance isn't expecting that much fanfare, to be honest. He's not really expecting much - something's in the ball, and something's gonna come out of the ball, but asides from that there's not much he can imagine.

What comes out is utterly alien, and in a way that's more familiar than if a Golisopod had just been, like, a cat or a dog. It almost reminds Lance of a Robeast - the plates and the purple don't seem all that out of place for one of the Witch's creations - but on a much smaller scale.

It's still much larger than he is, though, and he can't keep the awe from his voice.]

Oh, man! That thing's amazing!

[He doesn't quite bounce on his feet, but it's a near thing. Because there's something Guzma had said, about what made Pokemon Pokemon.]

What can it do?

[yallstupid]

[The praise effects both parties, though it's Guzma who preens a bit more obviously than the actual Pokemon. Heck yeah his partner is amazing! He's a fucking badass, and a chance to show off how in-freaking-credible Golisopod is comes not often enough. More people are scared or grossed out by the massive isopod, not wanting anything to do with him despite his calm and gentle nature.]

Well, it can fight, for one. Big guy's my heavy hitter - I mean, among the other members of my party back home, but my main man here. [He whistles sharply, and Golisood seems to stand at attention very quickly, suddenly awake and very alert.] Give the good man a demo, yeah? Let's start off strong with a Waterfall.

[Nodding, Golisopod ambles his way toward the shore until he's about waist deep in the water, breathing in and out slowly. Guzma pushes Lance back a bit with a quick mutter of: "beware of the splash zone, yo" as rather suddenly, the water around the huge Pokemon begins to bubble and churn...then shoot up like a geyser, as Golisopod climbs the pillar of water effortlessly, higher and higher - he must be a good fifty, sixty feet up - then comes spinning back down like a corkscrew with his sharpened claws impacting the sand and water with a thunderous crash.

Three point landing.]

[thegoofball]

[This is like his childhood dreams coming true. Pocket monsters that will fight for you? That's incredible.

He manages to keep quiet during the Waterfall, but he crows with delight at the landing.]

Whoa! That's so cool!

[He bounces on his heels.]

What else can it do? It's gotta be able to do stuff that's way more cool, right?!

[yallstupid]

Well, unfortunately, I can't show you all'a Golisopod's moves, since one is, uh...well, it's pretty nasty. [Leech Life, he means. It's quite literally there in the wording - a move that sucks the very life from an opponent to heal oneself. It's a great move in Alola (thank god to the insane buff it got, wheeze), and one Guzma is super happy he got a TM for.] And most'a his moves take the opponent's attacks and counter 'em.

What Golisopod lacks in speed, he makes up for with brute strength. I'll show you his signature move, at the least. [Looking around the immediate area, Guzma kicks a few green coconuts away until he finds a perfectly large, solid one - about the size of a basketball. He tosses it up once and catches it, to test the weight, then lobs the nut right at his Pokemon.

Who, while cleaning the salt and water off his antennae and facial feelers calmly with his longer, thinner arms, snaps his eyes toward the object and not only spikes it into the ground, but cleaves it in half effortlessly with one of those enormous, clawed arms.

...Then furiously begins to clean himself AGAIN BECAUSE THE WATER GOT ALL OVER HIM WEH.]

That's First Impression - always strikes first as the name suggests, heh. When an attacker tries to get the jump on you, yeah, you take their speed and trajectory, predict their movement, then bam. These big guys aren't known for their speed, so they make up for it with patient defense and a knock-out strike when you least expect it! S'why I love bug types. They strategize first them beat you down once y'all is caught.

[thegoofball]

[This is some real life video game shit and Lance is pumped. He whoops when Golisopod cuts the coconut, pumping his fist.]

That's incredible! And it just listens to you?

[The way he talks, it's like it's a true partnership and Lance is amazed. It must have taken an incredible amount of effort to get to this level, and he is just. So impressed. So jazzed. He loves this.]

[yallstupid]

[There's a brief wince at that statement, but it doesn't last long as Guzma approaches his Pokemon and gives him a solid pat on the head,then continues to rub and scratch under Golisopod's chin, to which the massive insect coos and turns its head into those fingers, bumping happily against him.]

Ain't as simple as that, homeboy. I mean, 'course he listens to me, all'a my Pokemon do, but I've known 'em for years. We're close, and Golisopod was the first Pokemon I ever caught, well before he was even this big, and 'fore I was an adult. [He was what, eleven when he found Wimpod? Probably, it's been over a decade now.] But y'don't just catch a Pokemon and expect it to listen to you like it's the ding-dang Gospel or something.

These things are smart - they think and feel just like people do. And they're still wild, even when y'all catch and tame 'em...so not all'a then treat you like a friend right off the get-go. And if they think you're not tough 'nuff to raise 'em, they won't listen to you. Heck, if they straight up don't wanna do something, most'a the time they just won't. Worst case scenario is...they attack you the moment they're let out'a their balls, but that's if you're a right piece'a trash to 'em.

Or y'all do something low 'nuff to make 'em distrust you real fast.

[He doesn't face Lance, doesn't look at him, and just exhales slowly as he pats his Pokemon again and mutters something along the lines of "you did good". He's had to experience how bad it is to have a once close friend suddenly treat him with hatred and distrust. It was awful...considering he's far closer to his Pokemon than any person he knew back home. They were more his family than his blood relatives could ever hope to be.]

Anyway, thanks for letting me show off, been a while since I got to let Golisopod cut loose.