voice ⚙Oct 19th

[missfunction]

Huh-za-what? What-what-what is this?

[The mechanical voice to stutter over the network is riddled with clicks and whirrrrs as the unseen automaton inspects her new device curiously. There's the briefest huff of steam hissing as it spills from her crooked mouth, but then she's continuing.]

Th'Spine? Is this some k-kinda joke, big guy? [Her voice drops down for an impossibly low and robotic HA. HA. before returning to normal.] I thought humor had been left outta yer programmin' co-completely. Pappy had to m-make room for that s-shinin' stick-in-da-mud personality of yers, didn't he?

...Spine? [Nope, if her brother were here, that would have gotten a response out of him for sure. Rabbit lets out an irritated huff at that realization.] Th' backbone on that guy...

Okay, so if it ain't you on th' other end of this t-t-telefone conversation, then just who is?

Comments

[counterblows]

I think your joke was missing some pieces.

[What's a bee leg. What does any of it have to do with bees?]

Sometimes the local wildlife. Last month is a giant, three-headed dragon and all of its very pissed-off kids, if that gives you any idea of what we tend to deal with.

[missfunction]

Well ain't you all rude. A woman's m-m-missin' pieces ain't any of yer business, fella!

[this conversation is 100% disaster]

Why was mama dragon all aggro on ya in th' first place? In my experience, d-d-dr-dragons are only jerkwards when ya steal their stuff.

[counterblows]

This time, we did the stealing after it was dead.

[In her experience, huh?]

You run into a lotta dragons, then? 'Cause this one just kind of started attacking us. Bumped into its nest by accident, it sounds like, but that didn't stop it from trying to torch us all just for looking at it the wrong way.

[missfunction]

[oh yeah, vast vast experience. she's seen Pete's Dragon at least twenty times.]

M-m-maybe she just woke up on the wrong s-side of the den. [a beat passes, the automaton's head creaking to the side in a curious tilt.] Guess I can't blame ya for bein' all sore about it. S-sounds like this place ain't no party. Been here long?

[counterblows]

You could say that. Something like fifteen, sixteen months?

[Christ, has it really been that long?]

The dragon was a first, though.

[missfunction]

That's l-l-like a year! Like m-mmMM-mm-more than a year! How long am I 'sposed t' just hang out here?! I've got concerts t' perform in an' brothers t' m-manage!

[counterblows]

Time isn't real, and it also doesn't pass at home while you're here.

[Probably shouldn't have started with time isn't real, but Wash straight up ran out of fucks to give years ago, so he's just powering right on.]

[missfunction]

[She's pretty sure the Storyteller fella also said something similar but also like??? the fuck????]

Yer totally f-fryin' my circuits here, bub.

[But she thinks she gets it. Mostly.]

D-d-don't get me wrong. I'm all for a lil' vacay from th' fam an' all, but this s-s-seems excessive. There's really no way t' get back?

[counterblows]

People do...disappear sometimes? Allegedly the Storyteller knows where they end up, if you feel up to asking them.

Sometimes that means they go home.

[He says "sometimes" because that's definitely not always the case.]

[missfunction]

[Was that an ominous musical sting in the background?]

Guess I'll ask 'em for myself then. If they c-c-can't get me home, th' least they can do is drag th' r-rest of my family here.

[counterblows]

...I guess that's one way of dealing of with this.

[He sounds. Resigned. Like, sure. Okay. You do you. Go ahead and wish for the rest of your family to end up here.]

[missfunction]

How did you d-deal with it?

[counterblows]

Not by wishing that my friends would join me here, for one.

[Mostly he just shoves all those pesky feelings deep down and pretends he isn't a traumatized space marine.]

[missfunction]

Noted. [she says, but will absolutely forget within the hour]

Also, if you come across a baby dragon, s-she's mine an' I want her b-back.

[counterblows]

...yeah, there were a lot of those not that long ago. You're going to need to be more specific.

[missfunction]

Her name's TunaMelt an' s-she's th' prettiest dragon around.

[counterblows]

Again, you're going to need to be way more specific. Color? Size? Shape? Anything like that?

[He debates telling her that the dragon might be dead.]

[He decides against it.]