voice ⚙Oct 19th

[missfunction]

Huh-za-what? What-what-what is this?

[The mechanical voice to stutter over the network is riddled with clicks and whirrrrs as the unseen automaton inspects her new device curiously. There's the briefest huff of steam hissing as it spills from her crooked mouth, but then she's continuing.]

Th'Spine? Is this some k-kinda joke, big guy? [Her voice drops down for an impossibly low and robotic HA. HA. before returning to normal.] I thought humor had been left outta yer programmin' co-completely. Pappy had to m-make room for that s-shinin' stick-in-da-mud personality of yers, didn't he?

...Spine? [Nope, if her brother were here, that would have gotten a response out of him for sure. Rabbit lets out an irritated huff at that realization.] Th' backbone on that guy...

Okay, so if it ain't you on th' other end of this t-t-telefone conversation, then just who is?

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[lesbeau]

The hell is a telephone?

[Oh, high fantasy worlds that don't horribly shatter their fourth walls, how unexpected.]

This is a stone. Or a message or something. And you're sending it to everyone, so.

[missfunction]

L-look it up on th' Google m-m-machine, lady. I ain't yer internet browser.

[cause that's gonna make a whole lot more sense]

Yeesh! Didn't r-r-realize I was s-streamin' with so many fans. You m-m-must donate to our patreon.

[lesbeau]

[She just. Blinks a moment.]

That made even less sense than your last speech. And we don't know who you are. Just a new voice yelling to anybody with their stone turned on.

[Beau got ONE word in that whole bit, and it was 'fans', so she's gonna stick with that.]

[missfunction]

[That's such a fair response.]

If you d-d-don't know who I am, then why'd ya call this number? You t-tryin' t' prank me, sister? My refrigerator ain't goin' nowhere.

[lesbeau]

I didn't message you! You're the one who started saying things from my pocket!

[Mmmmm maybe she should attempt to explain. Maybe.]

This goes to everyone if you just talk at it.

[missfunction]

Well why didn't ya s-s-say that earlier!

[There's a feigned hacking cough on Rabbit's end, like she's attempting to clear the throat she doesn't have.]

Howdy there, f-f-ffff-f-fans! My name's R-Rabbit an' I was built back in 1896! You-you-you know, back when it was still illegal for women t' read an' write. An' all the men dressed like Mister Peanut. I'm l-like a - a priceless antique.

[lesbeau]

[If it was possible for Beau to be more confused, this would absolutely do it. The voice on the other end sounds like some kind of performer, but not one she's ever seen, and the context is almost entirely lost. It's probably better for Rabbit that she can't see the face Beau is making at her stone right now of absolutely being out of her depth.]

None of us know what year that is. There's no time here. Are you ever gonna start making sense?

[missfunction]

D-d-d-depends! Ya gonna s-s-start payin' me? I'd be makin' cents then!

[im so sorry for my life]

[lesbeau]

[This is even better because Beau doesn't come from a world where 'cents' is 'money'. She's got gold, baybee. But she also doesn't know it's a pun, so there isn't as much immediate psychic damage as there could be. It just leaves her staring at her device again, completely lost.]

... Okay. Sure. Whatever. I'm not paying you, but someone might.

[Not that gold means much here? Maybe she should mention that, but... eeh. That sounds like more than this girl can handle right now.]

Look, you're somewhere else, you're stuck there, chances are you're alone. You're gonna have to figure that out.

[missfunction]

Well, that ain't very helpful.

[But there's no hiding the smile that sinks into her voice, that gives away just how utterly amused the automaton actually is.]

N-not gonna offer me a helpin' hand or nuthin'? I'm j-j-just-just a gal out all on my lonesome.

[lesbeau]

Do I sound like the city guard or something? 'Ss not my job to escort people.

[Now she's just kind of being Rude On Purpose, oops.]

You need that much help when you're performing or something?