[It's faster to explain this via audio otherwise this story is gonna take like eight text messages. Ignore the bg noise, Tim.]

Listen. I saw a dragon was stuck under a tree because it's a dumb baby - [There's a dragon noise again.] Yeah. You're a dumb baby. The dumb baby is you.

[What was he talking about? Oh, right.]

Uh. Yeah, so: stuck under a tree and I'm like "it's baby, how can I just spray it with water" because I don't know I was having an emotional day and maybe the song is making me a little crazy or something so I freed this dumb baby and it flew away? So I figured that was it, but then it brought me a ruby like like size of a baseball or something? And I took it because it's rude to, like, refuse gifts? But I'm thinking maybe I did something weird in dragon culture because now it follows me around and it's living in my house.

[Somebody somebody]

Anyway I guess it's in the gross baby stage because sometimes it just [Connor makes a gross "blegh" noise, because he actually has not stopped being a teenage boy even though he's technically not one anymore.] and then things are on fire.

[He got dragon married, is what he's saying. It's fine.]