stones of farspeech; a few days after the intro

[jelliclerats]

[ Nezumi has rarely used the stone, and he never planned to. Even now, he fights the decision. The fewer people know of his existence, the better. But, he can't find him. Maybe he's gone again and will come back, as he did last time, but after the memorial he held for the lost, something sits heavily in Nezumi's stomach.

This is why getting close to people is a stupid idea. It hurts. ]

I'm looking for Shion. White hair, red marks on his body.

[ It feels like shining a beacon on his weakness, as if screaming to the world that hurting Shion is the only way to hurt Nezumi. ]

If you see him, tell him to come home already.

Comments

[postictal]

You got any of his stuff?

[It's not a surefire method by any means, but...]

You could always ask the Storyteller. They might be able to say if he's...you know. Still around or not.

[jelliclerats]

That's going to be my next step if someone here hasn't seen him.

[ He hasn't wanted to use what's on the islands if he can help it. He's someone who will use all resources available to him, but this seemed preferable. ]

He's probably just following his sister.

[postictal]

Maybe.

[That was...a while ago, wasn't it?]

You're gonna wanna hold onto his stuff, if it's anywhere. There's all kinds of scavengers that'll get into it if you don't.

[jelliclerats]

[ It was, but Nezumi's angry. He's not allowing it to show, and he even knows Shion has no control over it, but he's angry. Much of that anger is at himself. He'd done a few stupid things with Shion in mind, and now, he was even further from Shion than before. What the point? He could have gotten hurt, killed, and in the end, Shion wouldn't be here today anyway.

He really had been stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. That's why he wants to say that scavengers can have anything they want. He doesn't need it anyway. The more distance he puts between himself and Shion, the better.

Maybe he can keep it to remind himself that getting close to someone will only lead to pain when they leave, be it from death, abandonment, or something else. How much of that is a justification to keep parts of Shion close to him?

All of it.

So, he should say it. Nezumi knows the cues to play. His voice can easily pretend to have no interest. He doesn't care what Tim thinks of him so the words should come easily.

It's too long. He's already gone too long without speaking. The silence is speaking for him. Nezumi needs to say something.

Things aren't people. He's told Shion that himself, mocking him for making the imitation graves for people who have already gone before him.

Damn it. Damn Shion. Damn himself.]

I'm taking them instead.

[postictal]

All right.

[The fact that Nezumi made this call in the first place...it's clear that this has bothered him. Shion was here for over a year, and then he just spontaneously vanishes, like he was never there. Nothing but a pack and some belongings and a garden to memorialize him.]

[He'd say "sorry," but he doubts that'd go over well.]

Hold onto that, then. If he's just disappeared only to come back, he'll probably be grateful.

[jelliclerats]

He's not coming back.

[ Not in the same way he did last time. Nezumi doesn't have proof, but his instincts are strong enough to be almost supernatural, and his gut is telling him that Shion has disappeared in the same way the others have disappeared.

And it wasn't supposed to hurt this bad. ]

Unless this world kidnaps people for a second go-around. Has it happened?

[postictal]

It's been known to happen. Sometimes they return with memories, and sometimes they don't.

There's no way to really be sure.

[Uncertainty has defined the fullest scope of Tim's existence since he was a kid, since his very earliest memories. He's spent too much of his time not knowing what the hell was going on for that to scare him anymore.]

[He's got no clue if Nezumi's likely to respond with fear, or worse.]

[He's guessing worse.]

[jelliclerats]

[ This hurts, but it isn't the worst thing that Nezumi has lived through. It hurts, but he'll survive. Unfortunately, it also means he's less likely to reach out again. Why bother? What was the point?

At the very least, Nezumi isn't one to hope. Sometimes it happens, but likely not most of the time. It would have started with that phrase instead, if they came back more often than not. ]

Hn. Then if he comes back, he'll owe me for acting as his storage unit.

[postictal]

I'll be sure to let him know, if I see him.

[Shion's disappeared before, though never for longer than a month. As far as Tim knows, only consulting the Storyteller confirms for certain what's happened to them. He's just never the one to ask.]

You know where he lived?

[jelliclerats]

[ If Nezumi was anyone else, he would have asked after reaching out, but he knows that Shion is gone, the same way he knows an enemy is coming even before there's a sign of their presence. He isn't psychic, but there are times his instincts make it seem as if he is. ]

I was there a few times.

[ He was there almost every day, in the end. ]

[postictal]

He had a tigerlily there. Cobweb, I think. Might still be there. I don't know if he had any other pets, but...that'd be where I'd look.

[If he doesn't, there's a good chance that they'll just go wild. Sink into the backdrop of Ensō's landscape, wandering without an owner, until they stop being the domesticated creatures they eventually came to be.]

[jelliclerats]

Did he?

[ Nezumi knows, but it's easier if he doesn't reveal how close they'd become, how often Nezumi was at Shion's. It's easier to pretend he just doesn't make those kinds of relationships because he doesn't. Shion was an exception.

But he can look after living things. He had pets at home.

Rats. ]

[postictal]

Yeah. Tigerlilies are pretty easy to take care of. Just like plants. Sunlight and water, and they're good to go.

[He says as someone who has taken care of one for...a while. It's not technically his, but he's the one who brought it home, so they all more or less pitch in to take care of...Soylent, or Buttercup, or whatever they're calling the poor creature these days.]