[No way in hell he'll be sober enough on the 21st-22nd. A cheerful voice assaults your eardrums.]

Uhm, hi! Stubbed your toe? Got stung by something? Bleeding out? Lucky you! Not on the nearly dying part, but just call me on this Scroll-Stone thing and I'll put my Aura in you and leave you 100% better in no time.

[A long pause.]

Unless I'm too late. Hopefully not. It's not like I'm going to use it for anything else. [He starts rambling.] It probably won't hurt. I never got to ask. But it's better than dying. Anyway--!

Incredible, it's just as awkward as using a real scroll...