Farstone

[despairing_hope]

You know, this isn't so bad. It could have been so much worse! So really, in a way, this can still be fortunate.

But, we should have expected something like this the very first day! It was quite an inevitable outcome. But, since we have quite interesting people, it isn't without hope!

Yes, Hope is the key, isn't it? It's said that emotions have a key here, and I am certain that as long as Hope is held o to an answer will be found. Of course there is always simply accepting things as they are, and bringing Hope to others with the arrangement you will leave behind.

A small reminder, that you existed... leaving a beautiful colorful mark on the world.

Thinking of it that way I'm almost excited and cant wait.

[To those familiar with Komaeda's voice he doesnt sound much different than usual, however his breathing is definitely more labored and words more breathy than usual.]

Comments

[despairing_hope]

That depends on each individual.

[liveasmyself]

How would you go about it for your own situation?

[She doesn't like the idea of grinning and bearing it just for someone else's hope--it sounds too much like what they were taught at school.]

[despairing_hope]

For me?

I suppose there is comfort that something nice can be left in the place of someone like me.

[liveasmyself]

You couldn't do that while alive? Wouldn't that be better?

[despairing_hope]

My life isn't worth much, and it's not going to be very long. So even if this sickness doesnt claim me, another will. That one wont leave anything pleasing behind however.

Tell me, if you had to have a terminal illness, which sounds better? Flowers, or simply deteriorating until nothing is left?

[liveasmyself]

...Neither. If the result is me dying either way, I'd rather do my best to focus on making the most of it before I pass.

[To hear him mention another illness, though, she feels almost guilty for coming down so hard previously.]

What's the other sickness?

[despairing_hope]

I've done quite a lot, but it doesnt change the future.

[He was already on so much borrowed time.]

Two actually....

[He wasnt sure he wanted to share exactly what, he hadn't told anyone recently other than Hinata. It felt like exposing himself too much. However, he didnt particularly not want to be honest.]

Stage three lymphoma and frontaltempora dementia.

[liveasmyself]

That's terrible.

[A pause. She can't not say it--]

...I'm sorry I snapped at you. You must be under a lot of pressure.

[despairing_hope]

You dont have to feel sorry for me. A fact is a fact. And, from misfortune hope is born. I was able to experience a lot of things I wouldn't train since the diagnosis, so it's a fair trade off.

[liveasmyself]

I don't know if I'd call that fair... But that's an interesting perspective to have.

[She can't imagine not wanting to claw her way out of such a fate, even if there was no real escape available.]

[despairing_hope]

It's how it's always been. My talent is luck, bad luck brings good luck.

[He had long ago accepted this and rationalized it this way.]

It's important to accept the good that comes from the bad.

[liveasmyself]

So you have both good and bad luck at the same time? I wouldn't have thought that that could work, unless it goes in cycles.

[despairing_hope]

Cycles. Bad luck will ultimately be followed by good luck.

Though, generally those around me suffer bad luck.

[liveasmyself]

[A pause.]

That's concerning. Are you serious?

[Don't tell her things like this when everyone's cruising towards death!]

[despairing_hope]

Very. But don't worry, I generally avoid people to lessen the effect.

I've been pretty unlucky lately anyway, so I think people should be fine.

[liveasmyself]

I wouldn't say most of us feel fine...

[So she's not so sure she can say she appreciates the effort either.]

It must be difficult to live that way.

[despairing_hope]

Well, nothing horrendous outside the nature of this place has happened.

[He had to think about that for a second. Was it dificult?]

It's how it has always been. I don't mind being alone.

[That was a lie, even though it was to himself. It hurt but he was good at not showing it.]

[liveasmyself]

Well... If that's your choice.

[She can't argue with what someone truly wants.]