lifenet | farstones; aug 11

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farstones; aug 11

[It opens to a wet, spitting noise, followed by a bleak chuckle.]

Emotions... honesty? That's what you guys are saying, huh? It's supposed to be as easy as that? [a beat.] Tch... I don't usually do the story thing, b-but I guess... this is gonna be my only chance, so here goes nothing.

[Ichimatsu draws a slow, deep breath; or one that tries to be deep, but seems to drag along the way, stuttering through his airway like a broken windshutter.]

Once there was a bunch of shitty, useless brothers. Six of 'em. All they did was bother everyone and t-take up space. Annoying, loud, selfish, meddlesome... that was all of them in a nutshell.

... except the fourth son. The others were just a pain in the ass to deal with, but the fourth one... wasn't even that. He was just a sad, unburnable piece of trash with no will to live. And you know what? He didn't need the others. He was better off without 'em. They just... held him b-back... and he didn't miss 'em at all.

[A violent, retching cough, followed by a few seconds of silence; then he clears his throat, as if nothing had happened.]

And they're pr... obably better off, too. That's the sort of happy ending this cursed family can look forward to. Them, and any of the fourth brother's new friends... who make it out of this.

[He pauses, as if waiting for another quick retribution, but this time... nothing. He gives a soft and wheezing huff of laughter.]

... but enough about those guys. If we're gonna talk like it's easy... like we're better than all the jerks who died here before... why don't you tell me about all the stuff you won't acknowledge? I'll be the one who takes your shit to the grave for you.

Heh... or maybe I'll j-just see you there. We're just the same as them in the end, right?

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[Y'know, Erika has had about enough of dudes dramatically talking about what garbage they are.]

If the fourth one was worse than the others, how the fuck were they "holding him back"? Gotta work on your consistency, dude.

[sorry gurl apparently LA has a Type.]

Keh... don't get me wrong. I don't mean they were holding him back from success or anything like that.

[He coughs.]

... don't worry about it.

[Lup has no time for anyone being stubborn and defeatist about this, for some dipshit half-assing and shitting on their real and only hope here. This can and will work, nobody has to choke to death on fucking, inexorable growths clawing up their throat. Not this time.

But she listens anyway. And there's something in it that means--

She has time for him.

Her voice is hoarse, breathing with some difficulty around her own hypocrisies, but it's gentle when she answers.]

You didn't tell me there were six.

Edited 2018-08-11 23:36 (UTC)

[He's quiet for a beat -- or at least, he doesn't speak. The slight whistling quality to his breathing doesn't quite allow for total silence.]

[When he finally answers her, his voice is bereft of the mocking, erratic tone it held before; it's calm and steady.]

Ah... sorry. Guess it slipped my mind.

Osomatsu. Karamatsu. Choromatsu. Ichimatsu. Jyushimatsu. Todomatsu.

That's us. The Matsuno sextuplets.

[It's second nature to run when the world becomes too much and going to a cat seemed like the logical choice in this situation. Her strength has dwindled to the point she can't haul her bag around, so the only things with her are ESP, a Solgaleo plush, and the cat jacket wrapped around her body because she's can't handle this. It's for protection. For comfort. Because the disease gets scarier by the day.

And not because she hurts and aches and there's bright yellow flowers sprouting from her skin. It's painful, but she handle it. That's how it is for someone like her.

But for all these other people, it shouldn't be like that. They shouldn't be blooming from head to toe. She can't stand it. She thought being with a cat-that he would be okay, but he's a little too human and unable to escape from this. He's trapped, like they all are.

It hurts him and that's what makes her heart ache the most. The way he coughs, laughs, utters out those painful words that he needs to get out of his system. Exhaustion keeps her from interrupting and ESP's purr in the background helps her focus on his voice, his face-]

You're going to have a happy ending. You'll be okay. You can keep talking about the other kitt-your brothers. I'm still awake.

[And accidentally petting Solgaleo instead of ESP, who's bumping at her hand for proper pets. But whatever. The point is, she's here.]

[It's nothing. Ichimatsu's been sick before. He's even been this sick before, up on those damn floating islands, where everything inside him felt rotten and shifting apart. He somehow got out of that, in a way that he knows he won't get out of this one; because of its roots. If he has to be honest with himself, then there's only one outcome for this.]

[He doesn't mind it. However painful it is, he can deal with that. It's nothing.]

[It's nothing compared to seeing her like this.]

[He hasn't had the energy to haul himself up to his tree nest since the day before, so he's propped his back against its trunk, his legs drawn up. For a while, he says nothing in response; just looks at her quietly, with dull eyes and a line of bloodied orchids draped down the side of his face, like a veil that had been pinned aside.]

[He takes in her words, and how kind they are, and the yellow flowers blooming from her skin, and he hates it. Everything about it. Even someone like Ren, with ghosts he knows of but has never asked, has things she can't be honest about. Even someone like her.]

[For a moment, he's blisteringly angry. But he won't do anything about it.]

[Instead, Ichimatsu sighs and lowers his knees. Sets his Farstone down in the grass beside him. His voice is gentle when he speaks; not at all the contemptuous thing that had blared over the network just minutes prior. It's gritty and hoarse, but it's still the voice reserved for her.]

I know, Ren-chan. [He holds his arm out weakly in an invitation, petals falling from his sleeves.] C'mere. It's okay.

Believe me, I'm not worried. [She stops to push down a pained hiss as she tries to shift where she's sitting. Fuckin' plants.]

But-- you did kinda just make this the whole island's business. So I think now I have a right to ask what the hell you meant.

[Sextuplets, all connected even by name. And he's the only left here? Damn.]

Sounds like a wild fuckin ride. People already couldn't handle two of us, let alone six. [It's said jokingly, like can you imagine more than two elf twins? The gods themselves would've had to come down and nerf 'em. Actually, their parents probably would've drowned them like kittens, is the bleak truth that passes through her mind.]

What's that like? Did y'all live together?

[He hasn't been coughing, so his voice is one of the few that isn't hoarse--but he can't disguise how exhausted he's become.

Ichimatsu's family wants nothing to do with him, and boy, does that hit a nerve. Too familiar. 'He didn't miss them at all', Héctor's bony rear. Why's the guy coughing up flowers then?]

Come on, that's not an ending at all. What happened to the fourth brother?

That right? [His tone is dry.] All I did was talk about a bunch of hopeless losers. If anyone wants to make it their business, that's their fault.

[He pauses, and then his voice turns a bit more genial. Just a hair.]

Anyway, aren't you missing the part where I asked you a question?

[Again, quiet for a beat, Ichimatsu smiles thinly.]

[He can play along for a while.]

... yeah. Just a bunch of scummy, deadbeat sons, leeching off our parents... we were pretty terrible. Dunno why they put up with us. Not anymore, though. At least a few of us made it out.

Like I told Osomatsu-niisan even before we came here, things ending up this way... is how it should be.

[He doesn't sound particularly bitter or angry about it; just calm, accepting.]

You only ever met Shittymatsu, huh?

Eh? That guy? [There's a stilted sort of glee in his voice, turning it high pitched.] Don't worry about him. He'll get what he deserves in the end.

You should be more worried about yourself, don't you think?

Dude, I really hope you're just bein' a shit, and didn't really expect that your little storytime wouldn't invite any questions.

[That's the risk of telling things to a whole island of randos, you might end up talking to someone like Erika.]

...Nah. I'm not missing it.

[She's just not sure what she's willing to say to this guy. Some things, she supposes, might be better to confess to a stranger, others... not so much.]

[It hasn't been difficult to swallow down her emotions or hold back. She easily reverted back to a time when painful experiments were the norm and relied on her past experience to see her through. Crying wouldn't change anything, talking about it how it hurts would make people sad and she can't do that to her family. They're going through pains of their own, working through their own stress.

When she watches the petals fall out of his sleeve, when she really looks at the way they're poking out of his face, her eyes get hot, her throat constricts, because cats are supposed to be safe. He's supposed to be safe and for a second, everything overwhelms her tired mind. But she swallows it down, rapidly blinks her problems away and accepts the offer with a nod.

Hobbling over with the stuffed animal tucked under her arm takes longer than normal, despite the short distance between them, and she stops a couple times to goad ESP to follow her by shaking her foot his way. When she's close enough to curl up by his side, she shoves the toy lion between them so they can both benefit from Old Spicy's divine protection.]

You have to tell me if it starts to hurt you. I can move. I can lay somewhere else.

Doesn't mean I'm gonna answer 'em. Nobody should be that interested, but if they are, it's not hard to figure out.

[It's more blunt than it is rude -- well, intentionally rude. Ichimatsu pauses to make a spitting sound again.]

Besides, it sounds like you're not much better than me.

Ugh, fine.

I'm totally better than you. Probably in every way-- [She winces, hissing through her teeth, at a surge of pain up her spine.]

Agh...

...Fine.

I'm kind of a shit person, alright? I'm good at my job, I'm happy with where I-- well, where I was. But I'm a piece of shit, and I dunno that I can change that.

I don't want that.

[He only says it once she's settled into his side and he's let his arm down around her, his voice quiet and murmuring. It's more candid than he usually is, but then -- Ren is always the exception. Maybe it's for that exact reason that the tight feeling in his lungs seems to relax a bit, like the coils of roots inside him are responding to his earnesty. That better, honest person he is when he allows himself to be. For her.]

[It won't be enough this time. He won't let it. If it means she'd have to endure all the terrible things about himself that he can't deal with...]

[He won't make saving him her responsibility.]

[He stares again at the golden flowers lining her skin, and again it's hard to breathe, something in his throat closing off for a reason that has nothing at all to do with the disease. Despair seems to crash down inside him like a dark and bottomless ocean. This isn't fair. This can't be fair. Not someone like Ren. He'll waste away because it's natural, but not Ren... it has to be a mistake. She's such a good girl. There isn't a cruel or dishonest bone in her body. Why the hell should she have to suffer a disease meant for shitty people? It has to be... some kind of joke...]

[He doesn't realize that his eyes have started stinging with tears until the salt burns a gash under his eye, blooming with petals. Wordlessly, Ichimatsu reaches over with his free hand to pet the lion plush, discreetly wiping his eyes with his sleeve. They land on ESP as the cat stretches himself over their legs. Ichimatsu should push him away, but he's too tired. At least cats are honest.]

[Somehow, he finds his voice again; still crackling and ugly.]

Sorry. You heard me say all that stuff, didn't you?

[He's silent for a couple beats, and truthfully, it's because he's shocked. Competitiveness he can understand, being from a family of six, but they're total strangers; he hadn't thought actually goading her would work. Admittedly, he's... a little impressed. And, he's surprised to realize, a bit relieved.]

[Unfortunately, it now leaves him in the awkward position of not being able to flippantly delight with someone in how shitty they both are. He usually gets a kick out of it, but the stakes are way too high right now for that crap.]

... you can't be that bad.

Edited 2018-08-14 03:24 (UTC)

[Yeah, balls to all that? Still not here for somebody's self-loathing pity party. Having parents who put up with you instead of folks giving you away over and over again, imagine that.]

Things aren't ending up any fucking way, dummy. You've been here long enough to know this isn't gonna be permanent. We're still gonna get home and you can be a better son than you were, or whatever. [Granted, maybe not her best pep talk. Blame it on the fever and shit.]

Right, that's-- the cringey one? He'd called me-- shit, it was really somethin'-- fiery angel! [She chuckles a little at the memory, fondly if hoarsely.] And straight up dedicated a song to me at our party! Listen, his like, technique? Could use a loooot of work, but I liked his gusto. And his shades. Is he always like that?

[How to trick the guy into blurting something out...]

Like... his own happy ending?

[Pretend to be completely oblivious. Ichimatsu's going to think he's an idiot, so what.]

Nah, I'm not in any hurry. You finish your story first, then maybe I'll tell you mine.

[That bit of honesty on his end is met with an unspoken gratitude on hers-one that she shows by resting her head against his shoulder, the tension in her body turning into dead weight against his side. The truth is she doesn't want to move yet. She would rather lay by him as he spews out the words he's been hiding from her, ones that he thinks require a sorry, his heart focusing too much on her in a situation where they're all suffering.

Because despite all the vitriol in his voice and the way his tongue sharpened when he thought she wasn't listening, all she heard was a scared cat trying to get help. Trying to help others by offering his own ears to those who needed it.]

I heard it. I always listen for your voice.

[The itching in her neck, in her body-it's uncomfortable. No matter what position she takes and it gets worse whenever she opens her mouth, but she wants him to keep going. To keep talking. Wants to ask-

Are we going to die soon?

Because she's reminded of Shiro, suddenly. The memory of sitting by a fire, talking to a cat because she was terrified of leaving Seto alone in the world, but the fleeting thought is too much. It's not just her this time. She doesn't want to know the answer when so many other lives are tangled in this mess too.]

I think people could feel your pretty heart in those words. Someone will talk to you very soon.

[Normally, Erika would be... incredibly reluctant to talk to some rando about this. But right now, she can't afford not to; she doesn't know too many people here, and letting herself die when Chip is here and their dad isn't is out of the question.

She snorts, then has to cough before answering.] I get paid to beat the shit out of people. Usually to scare 'em, sometimes more. And I like doing it. Pretty sure that's-- pretty bad.

[Ichimatsu snorts in turn. Which, okay, doesn't make him the best listener, even though he did legitimately ask for it.]

So... what? Are you saying you're a bouncer? M-mafia? [He stumbles on the second guess and pauses to cough wetly. No, that's no good. Semantics. If they're talking about morals here...] ... never mind. What I'm asking is... do they deserve it?

Are you an idiot?

[MISSION SUCCESS?? I'm sorry he's rude.]

No deal. If you'd rather die than spill your guts to me, that's your problem. I'm done.

At least one've those.

[Very informative.]

...Sometimes. Others, I dunno.

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