text; 9/30

[yourattention]

psa: dont fuckin come near my house for the foreseeable future (aka like at least a month) bc mistakes were made and things are kind of on fire

literally

they are literally on fire

no i dont need help i know what im doing

Comments

[postictal]

...who?

[Tim's having trouble tracking what, exactly, Connor has told him and with what degree of coherency he mentioned it.]

Why did you have octonettles? Why...

[He stops asking questions around then. Why does Connor do anything? He's starting to learn it's better not to ask, and better to just...accept that this is a thing that's happening.]

[yourattention]

The octonettles were protecting the Jackdaw, but apparently kaleidoshells eat them so now Caravaggio is protecting the Jackdaw. They're not very good at their job, but I love them anyway.

[Caravaggio is actually a wild animal that consents to let Connor hand feed it sometimes. Unlike his new dragon, which is more like a direwolf. The Game of Thrones kind, not the actual kind.]

[postictal]

Caravaggio is...your kaleidoshell?

[He's gonna have to take an inventory. Just to get this all straight in his head, because these piecemeal explanations aren't really cutting it anymore.]

[yourattention]

Well, yeah. What else would I name a turtle?

[Connor, you're literally the only person who would name a turtle after a different Italian renaissance painter.]

[postictal]

I don't know how to answer that.

[They're getting off topic. Focus, Tim. Focus.]

...look. How on fire are things, currently?

[yourattention]

You mean aside from the literal lava dragon made of fire currently in my house? Like none.

[How do you think he's managing to text people? He just sprays the fire with the water stick and it's fine. Mostly.]

But also the dumb baby has decided it has to protect the house from intruders or something so ask me again in five minutes.

[postictal]

I'm asking because I'm on my way right now and I need to know how many water buckets I should bring.

[Maybe he's got it covered for now, but it'd be good to get things nice and damp to ensure that nothing else catches on fire. Or that the fire spreads.]

[yourattention]

Oh, I dunno. I moved everything to the Jackdaw once I realized the dragon wasn't going away so really all that's happening is my floor looks like a crime scene.

[A beat.]

Also I have to make a new table.

[postictal]

Either way, you're gonna want as much of the surrounding area as wet as possible. The last thing we need is this fire spreading.

[At least he moved all the important shit to the boat. Except for, apparently, the table.]