[ STONE BROADCAST ] - JUNE 16TH

[aftrnpc]

Story-walkers! [Munin’s voice booms out of everyone’s stones in unison. And booming, in this instance, meaning a grizzled but chipper shout. Her cheerful volume does not lower for even a second as she continues.]

Ha! These stones - very clever! Perhaps my people could make use of them, too.

But I am speaking to you for another reason. There are those of you who do not know of the Jormun. If if you come across my people on your beaches, do not fear us, for we are sworn allies of your kin - churned in the waves of battle!

But there is no battle for us to join forces in, not now. We are here to conserve those the Storyteller would call…kaleidoshells. [She falters on the word, her accent thickening.] Schorvalsh is a better name.

You are all welcome to assist if you have the time. The schorvalsh have been receding in numbers, and now that we have reconnected with the land, we are able to protect their hatchlings, and bring them back as we did the sun!

We also owe you greater hospitality than what we have given in times past. We shall have a proper celebration if our joint efforts triumph, shall we say…in three noon's time? We shall bring our finest entertainment for you all.

[A wet, faintly fleshy smack, as Munin pounds her chest with a webbed fist.]

And you shall tell me of your land-dwelling practices, so that we may partake of those as well! The one named Connor - will you bring your greens?

Of course you will.

[You goddamn fool.]

Comments

[yourattention]

[MUNIN DON'T CALL HIM OUT LIKE THIS.]

. . . I mean, you know I'm good for it.

[forwearemany]

Query: What is your opinion of synthetic life?

(Look, Legion has priorities. And those priorities are making sure that attempts to assist organics aren't immediately met with murder.)

Our experience with "parties" is limited, though experience indicates that they commonly involve self poisoning with alcohol, auditory damage from loud music, and entertainment in the form of dance.

[aurabble]

[...He's glad he didn't kill any turtles.]

Ooh, there's music! And songs, which I guess goes in hand with music. And stupid games, and drinking, and stupid games where you drink and don't remember what happened! It's not a party if someone doesn't end up injured.

[crosslaced]

[He hears ‘churned in the waves of battle’ and knows exactly what these fish-people would like.]

Will there be any kind of tournament? That's always been a staple of land-dwelling camaraderie.

[That's always been a staple...for Akielons. Akielons and their whole ‘fighting people’ thing.]

[aftrnpc]

Synthetic life? You are still life, are you not? A story-walker allied with those who fought beside us, shoulder to scale, on the eve of the sun's flight?

[Of course you are. By association, no less!]

Alcohol, music...dance. And those are things you all prefer in celebration?

[aftrnpc]

[YOU. She likes you. You seem positively enamored with the idea of doing stupid, blatantly unsafe shit for the sake of having a good time, which is just the kind of silly warrior machismo that Munin can appreciate in the time of celebration.]

What manner of games?

[prettypurpleparlor]

They're lovely creatures. I'd be happy to help you preserve them.

[Muffet is definitely very interested in ecology and noble causes and not at all into this because she still thinks Munin is gorgeous, shut up.]

[meredream]

[So it's probably a good thing that the Hunter caught Munin's broadcast before meeting any of the Jormun. He wasn't here for the restoration of the sun and the Hunter's experiences with fish people back home mainly involved taking a cleaver to the face. Not a good time.

But still...]

How do you want to conserve the kaleidoshells?

[Schorvalsh is indeed a better name but the Hunter's willing to bet he won't be able to pronounce it.]

[aftrnpc]

Good! [She roars, clearly approving.] We shall inhale the finest of greens with you, then; our honored story-walker brethren!

[aftrnpc]

Will there be a tournament? [Does she sound a little insulted to you, Laurent? Does she?]

How could we miss one of the most integral pieces of a celebration?! There shall be a tournament! A tournament of strength, of wit, of cunning! All these and more!

[aftrnpc]

Good! I knew that we would be able to count on your support!

[Oh no, a genuine compliment!]

[yourattention]

["Finest" is probably pushing it but whatever. He's not gonna argue.]

I got a game from the Storyteller I could bring too.

[What could possibly fucking go wrong if Connor teaches the Jormun how to play Cards Against Humanity. What could possibly ever go wrong here.]

[aftrnpc]

A game? [A rumble of interest; surely nothing could go wrong, here.] Then by all means, bring this game! You shall teach us of the land dweller game, and we shall teach you of ours.

[aurabble]

[He likes this god. She's cool. She's the kind he can believe in.]

All sorts! There's beer pong--which I've totally played, I've Never, Spin the Bottle, but that one can get weird. What else? There's Million Lien, But, Would You Rather where you have to do what you'd prefer, Drunk People Jenga where you use people instead of Jenga blocks, karaoke...

[aftrnpc]

And what are the rules of said games? [My, she sounds eager. Probably for all the wrong reasons, because her next question is:]

Does one spin the bottle like a mace, or is it thrown?

[forwearemany]

Yes.

(To the first at least.

The rest...)

We are incapable of imbibing alcohol. We are uncertain of the preferences of others.

[tuskenlancer]

[ u h ]

What do the Jormun...look like?

[ Because "do not fear us" as an introduction suggests...Well, something fearsome. ]

[crosslaced]

[.....]

Then I look forward to winning against your best, Captain.

Are you all settled on that front? Do you have the competition where you ride- I suppose for you it might be sharks- while throwing spears?

[oh NO]

[thermalwind]

[That is a familiar voice he hasn't heard in a while.] Hey! Yeah, I got the time to help. I'm assuming the schorvalsh are being over-preyed upon?

Uh, not much land-dweller practices I actually know. But the others probably know something. Nice to hear from you again.

[aftrnpc]

[HMM. She can't exactly post a picture anywhere. A low, deep rumble of a contemplative hum echoes through the stone until at last, she surmises an appropriate response.]

I believe story-walkers such as yourselves have compared us to creatures such as...what you call naga.

[So, fish. They're large snakey fish-people.]

[aftrnpc]

Ah! You've not tasted our brrkshavak, I see. I assure you, we have drinks far more fiery than any alcoholic beverage!

[She sounds...delighted to introduce Legion to this concept.]

[catpiper]

It can be a 'Jormun and schorvalsh birthday party'-that kind of thing.

[SHE LOVES IT.]

We can play baseball and blackjack and eat dope roast together.

[forwearemany]

You misunderstand. We do not posess a mouth.

(They are physically incapable of consuming it, regardless of how "fiery" it is.)

[aftrnpc]

[There's a brief pause to account for this. It's clear this hadn't occurred to her, but she forges on regardless.]

Have you any need or desire to ingest sustenance, even recreationally?

[tuskenlancer]

[ Naga. She's just familiar enough with the concept to call up a terrifying, half-snake mental image.

Great. ]

Who are you...allies of, exactly? What battle?